Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Form a line at my ass if you dont agree with me on this one.


Ok.

I'm tapping out.

Uncle.

Logged into Netflix tonight to find that the wife had moved "Barbie: A Christmas Carol" and "Sesame Street: Elmo Saves Christmas" ahead of a couple of crowd pleasers I had put on the list..."Resident Evil" and "The Dark Knight".

I've fucking had it.

If I dont teach our son about how to defend against a cold blade to the throat and Jiu Jitsu then who will??!!

Elmo?!

Seriously, I'm done.

If any of you hotties are looking for me, I'm now single.


(whip cracks)


.........yes dear.

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33 comments:

Deb said...

i took you as more of a traditionalist, jay. i thought surely by now you would have sat down with mr. b and taken him through the shining, the exorcist, and maybe thrown in a little blair witch.

you need to straighten that woman of yours out. show 'er who's boss. what kind of example are you setting for your son?

Eudea-Mamia said...

You had me at "Form a line at my ass..."

Brilliant.

I'm a sucker for Christmas movies though. Going with the Wife on this one.

However, isn't Christian Bale in "The Dark Knight?" Sister, you might want to move THAT one back to the top.

Kelli @ Gohn Crazy said...

*LOL* I feel for you, really I do. Christmas movies have queued everything else that I would actually care to watch.

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

LMAO! Our princess is all glitter and Barbie movies, but she has been known to sit down beside me, pick up the Wii controllers and say "Mommy, let's kill something!" So there's still hope. ;)

Jenners said...

Perfect blog post! A+
Just the right amount of cussing, relatability, and irony.

My husband is always bitching: "I don't get why you want to read the thoughts of some random people on blogs." Well, this is why honey so suck it! (I'm pretty sure he'll never see this.)

Tony said...

I say try to meet her half way. Go with;
A Christmas Story.

Red rider BB gun action, they use the queen mother of all swear words at age 6 and you get the sexy leg lamp thrown in for good measure. ( I am still trying to find one of those damn things.) LOL I am with you brother.

Liz said...

I must admit that at first I read the title as "FROM a line in my ass" I was both confused and disturbed :)

And I am with Eudea-Mamia, tell your wife that Dark Knight was actually for her (Christian Bale is yummy!)

Tenakim said...

wow what a pushover! Those Barbie movies are AWFUL!!! You can find better Christmas movies for crap's sake- even for kids!

Denise said...

This was probably the funiest blog ever. EVER!

Sorry your movie needs arent being met...but as a mommy I know that when the kids are quietly watching a movie then that makes mommy happy and when mommy is happy then daddy can be happy too. So it all works out in the end.

Ali said...

This is exactly why we don't have netflix! I can tolerate his movies (I actually fell asleep during 300 though) but he can't tolerate mine!

kel said...

you kill me! So funny! I hold the control over the netflix at our house too! You gotta sneak Batman back to the top... such a good movie!!

sticky said...

Too funny!! We have a "kiddy crap stays in the daytime" rule in our house. Anything after 5 and stuff better blow up...

Kristina P. said...

You and my gun toting husband need to hang out.

April said...

hahahahaha. i always used to move my stuff up in the queue and plead ignorance. LMAO.

jsprik said...

you crack me up jay!! althouh, i have to agree!! "dark knight" rocks!!! oh, btw..here's my number...lol j/k don't want to get us both in trouble (plus i'm not a hotty :(...)

Candice said...

Mmm Christian Bale..

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, why not just have seperate lists to pick from? I know when we went through Netflix I had my own list for the good movies and Brent had his for the lame movies he liked to watch. He stayed away from my que and I rarely deleted stuff from his. ;)

Temple said...

lmao...although I have to kind of wonder about any woman who moves Christian Bale down on the Netflix list...

CaJoh said...

Don't let the order of your movie selections ruin your marriage… there are better things to get angry over— the way you roll your socks when you fold them, leaving the toilet seat up (or down), etc., etc.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

I did the same thing to my husband 3 days ago. When Elmo Saves Christmas arrived yesterday instead of Unforgiven you would have thought I had deleted every Clint Eastwood movie ever made from existance.

Sorry, but I'm just not that into "the 25 days of everyone dying graphically by extreme violence Christmas"

Wep said...

ROFLMAO.

Doré said...

lol, that is too funny.

I have to admit... I am quite the netflix hog myself!

Orlund said...

Hey I like Elmo!

Christina said...

Maybe you can teach yur son to say "KILL ELMO" everytime Elmo comes on the screen?

jill jill bo bill said...

Elmo is a bad ass. really. Okay, come over and you and Rick can watch Transformers and for the 482nd time. Bring The Dark Knight. Not the movie either. And beer.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Hilarious! I love the sound of that whip putting you back in your place. I weld one too for the times when my husband decides to try a move like that.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I am pretty sure I can still recite Elmo Saves Christmas WORD for WORD...

Oh! And at school when I want the children to line up, some times I say "Come to my Toes!"...but from now I will be THINKING "Form a Line at my ass".

And PS...My husband won the violent movie battle a long time. He also won the "no toy guns" fight, AND the no shooting video games argument. Hmph.

Frogs in my formula said...

It's so cute how you pretend to have testicles. Awwww...

angie said...

So, moving Go! Diego Go up on our queue above Gold Finger is probably not a good idea? :)

Lorina said...

haha.. Awesome..

This very same thing is done at my house.. only it's mainly the other way around.. hmm.. I need some more wife training. Don't I?

Chitown Meg said...

LOL

Michelle said...

LOL...it is the other way around in our house. I log into netflix and see Why Has Bodhi Darma Left For the East. What the heck? Is that even a movie? I have had to change the password to keep him out.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Resident Evil you can live without. Insist, nay DEMAND, that The Dark Knight go back to the top of the queue. After seeing that my first child adored Elmo and none of the other ones could stand him and knowing NOW that the Elmo-lover is the most annoying of my three children.... I would definitely outlaw ELMO.

Clare said...

haha, you and my hubby chris would have a lot to talk about...as i move over band of brothers on netflix for a birthing documentary...chris actually came to talk to me about that one. must of really pissed him off:)

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson