Thursday, October 9, 2008

Like you frickin' care...


Well at long last, I have been tagged for the first time by my dear friend Ann over at Beadiful Things to tell you six things about me. So let me get thru this quick before I head over to my substandard psychiatrist...

1. I am Canadian. There. I said it. Or at least, I was. I am a naturalized American, so I am now official...about 15 years ago I went through naturalization with a large crowd of people who it seemed, at the time, cared much more about being at the final ceremony than I did...they cried, waved their flags, hugged their families, they were really in the moment. Me, being young and dumb, stood there thinking, "I have lived here a large chunk of my life...can someone just mail me my damn certificate so I can get back to work??" (Don't get up in arms on this one...I get it now)

2. I LOVE women. Now don't take this in some sleazy way...I mean it sincerely. I am one of those lucky guys who finds something attractive in EVERY woman. Whether it is your intellect, your smile, your graciousness, your wit, your talent, your hair, your sincerity, or your individuality, big and small, I LOVE YOU ALL. You talk, you listen, you care, you ROCK. Even when at your worst, you are sensitive, gifted, caring and beautiful beings...My friends Deb, Nannette, and Ann will tell you I am the group lesbian...the man who thinks more like a woman, but still loves women. I'm comfortable with it. There's a compliment in there somewhere.

3. I don't know *$&% about sports. Maybe it was because I spent my formative years in Europe, maybe it is my love of talking, writing, and living...maybe I just don't care about sports. I guess, again, this makes my testosterone/estrogen levels one step further off kilter. And this leads me to number 4...

4. I am NOT living on the "down low". I know where the mind goes when I say things like in points 2 and 3. For both of the gentlemen that read this blog, take comfort in the fact that you and I will NEVER have an uncomfortable moment in an elevator. Please refer back to number 2...I LOVE WOMEN. I choose not to get specific at this time, but my wife will attest to the fact that I am an avid and eager participant in the benefits of marriage. If you are gonna watch Oprah, fine. Spend your time with her, I don't care. But never assume that an emotionally gifted male like myself necessarily has some dark secret. I'm simply a renaissance man.

5. I recently lost 30 lbs. And Deb criticized me recently for not including an "after" picture to go with my St Baldrick's article, so I present one of me and my declining waistline today. Please keep the "I thought you said this was an 'after' picture, Jay" comments to a minimum...I'm very proud, and I feel awesome. I'm the target of some flirting again after many years...forgot what a self-esteem builder that was. If you are interested in reading about my weight loss, you can find it here...but I took it off, and am keeping it off (despite the vodka and olives), and I feel fantastic.

6. I am in love with 2 women, and 1 man. My final confession...I love my family. My wife and I are better than we have ever been, my kids are amazing, and things are incredible. Time for Murphy to snap his foot off in my ass, I guess...I'll tempt him some more as I go for my vasectomy this fall. Maybe the next HalftimeLessons.com giveaway should be that the winner gets to drive my waddling behind home from the urologist. Stay tuned.

Ok...my turn to tag some folks...I am choosing these three because I really enjoy their writing, and I'd love a further glimpse into their psyche...

Cass at Cass Just Curious
Kristina at Pulsipher Predilections
and
"NutJob" over at Frogs in my Formula

If you three have done this before, my apologies, just send me the link so I can read it, but if not, consider yourself tagged.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

28 comments:

Madge said...

Canadian. i don't know if we are going to be able to get past that.

Eudae-mamia said...

"Time for Murphy to snap his foot off in my ass."

I feel this way constantly, but have never phrased it quite so poetically. Kudos!

Congrats on the weight loss. My dear hubby also dropped 30 lbs recently. Helps in that "eager participation" department, don't it? Wait - that was rhetorical.

Em

Jenni Jiggety said...

I do frickin' care! You look great and I think I am in love with your staircase!

Kristina P. said...

I don't know. Someone doth protest too much in number 3!

And don't take this personally, but I can't do your tag. I am not even remotely joking when I say I have 20 outstanding tags to do. I really should just buckle down and do one, and get them all out of the way, so you never know, my manly friend.

ParentingPink said...

Wow! Very enlightening. And good for you for losing all the weight! What an accomplishment! And I'll forgive you for being Canadian :-) LOL

Thanks for sharing these great insights with us!

Beadiful Things said...

Jay, you handsome devil! You look great.

Your wife is a lucky lady or maybe just smart. I was similarly smart and married a man who doesn't care about sports either. His predecessor DID like sports...all sports. And sports BARs. And regular bars. And the women that troll those bars. But I digress....

Thanks for playing! :-)

Deb said...

you've rendered me speechless. oh, and listen, i have a vasectomy story for you...

you DO look great. for a lesbian. for a Bee Gees hatin' lesbian.

Luanne said...

Nice...you could totally be my friend!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

LOVE your comments, all...thank you!

Madge- I think I should have entitled #1 "I am a US Citizen...but..." Thanks for your sensitivity. ;-)

Em- Yes, that quote is the last shred of my manhood representin'...

Jen- Why is it women only love me for my staircase and tile??

Kristina- no prob, I was just trying to play with the cool kids...I totally understand that you wouldnt want to swim in a lesser pond... :P

Pink- Thank you! And (grovelling) thank you for accepting my sordid backbacon past.

Ann- (glowing) Please...stop...embarrassing me...ok start again...

Deb- What a great business card that would make...BeeGees Hatin' Lesbian. Sorry to hear about your vasectomy...

Luanne- YES!! We have a winner!! Luanne sensed my desperation first, and agreed to be my friend...You see why I love women?

Frogs in my formula said...

I feel so cheap. You obviously only tagged me because of my enormous, wonderful jugs. Luckily I am part Canadian, so I forgive you.

Ronda's Rants said...

Congrats on your weight loss...I am trying...since turning 50...I have gained 10lbs that refuse to budge! I will read how you did it!!

Jenn P. said...

That was a wonderful meme tag! And congratulations on losing 30 pounds!

Brittany said...

I am not a meme person. i find them repetitive, and never ever read them.

That being said, I read yours...and actually enjoyed them! I mean, even though you are a former Canadian and sport naive:)

Whitney R said...

Canadian! I have a Canadian sister in law. We tease her, but we love her :)

This was interesting! I think the fact that you love women is great. There need to be more men like you out there!

Congratulations on loosing weight :)

Rychelle said...

do you have a (single) brother? ;)

Miranda said...

lol What a good hubby, taking the trip to the urologist.. your wife is very lucky.

Good job on the weight loss! I don't think you should make my super cheesy beef casserole. It's probably not the best diet food. :)

Good N Crazy said...

FINALLY that AFTER photo. Been wondrin.


And Canadian Elevators? Hmmmm..some good jokes are coming...

do you want to hear a good vasectomy story...?hmm. NO not mine. My husband's.

Probably won't blog about it..but then again, you just never know eh?

ChefDruck said...

Congrats! 30 pounds that's very impressive.

Brigitte said...

Hi there. I've seen your giveaway button on a few of the blogs I read so I figured I'd click over and see what the fuss is all about. I must say I'm intrigued by your blog. I've seen a lot of mommy blogs and what not, but there's not too many daddy blogs out there. (Do you consider yourself a daddy blog?)

Well no matter how you categorize yourself, I like your blog. It's refreshing to read from a man who loves his wife and family, and doesn't blog about sports and politics. (But then again I do see something about Sarah Palin in your blog history, haha, I'll have to check that one out...)

And congrats on losing 30 pounds! Haven't seen the before picture but you look great!

Momisodes said...

You don't watch sports AND you're joining the V-team?

You're wife is one lucky lady :)

Congrats on the weight loss!

(p.s. Non-sports is one of the reasons why Dadisodes scored a second date)

CassJustCurious said...

I am working on this and am holding out per your suggestion until I have an after picture. Thanks for the tag!

The Mom said...

You look fab, congrats on the weight loss!!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

You and my husband have a great deal in common. But he is a big sports buff.

Erin @ Sprouted said...

You love women! Just for them being them! We are friends now, more than ever when I was just stalking and not commenting.

The weight loss, 30 lbs. is a *big, huge* amount. You have every right to be proud!

And I agree with Brittany--most of the tag posts are repetitive and blah blah, but yours was great! If they were all like that...but alas, they cannot be. For there are only so many Canadians. Er, former Canadians. I live closer than I ever thought I would to Canada and consequently enjoy the nice breezes that blow from the north in the winter, but a "me" post would never be as good as yours.

Rowboat said...

wow! you sound so great! i usually just scan over peoples' posts when they do a tagged one (sorry everyone!) but yours was really interesting. i'm glad you love women so much, and glad your wife is secure enough to let you! i bet she's awesome. and you look great in your picture! I'm sure you looked great before, too. anyway, i enjoyed this one! keep it up! (i'm not used to commenting on a married man's blog...it feels a bit different!) :)

Ann said...

I care, I care!
You have many things in common with my husband. (I'll let him know that he is not the only Renaissance man around.)
I'm having a Virtual Girls Night Out, however, you are welcome as well!
Come on over!

jenboglass said...

Woo-hoo for Canada! I've never been, but I have friends. Wow! You lost 30 lbs? Way to go, man!

Oregon Elkhorns said...

Jay, Thanks for that peak under your kimono. Most I knew from the past but some new stuff that cracked me up. I think I am 1 of the 2 guys who reads your blog. I must say I have visited many of the fine ladies blogs that follow you. They have some good material there as well. Nice following of the female persuation brother. Oh BTW I LOVE women too!!!!

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson