Monday, February 23, 2009

I gained 8 pounds this weekend.


I'm not kidding.
On Friday morning I weighed myself...6' 1", 200lbs, on the nose.
Went away for the weekend, spent great time with friends who love to eat and drink, abandoned all self-restraint, and treated my body like a septic tank.
Weigh-in last night? 208.
Meaning I ate and drank the equivalent of a healthy newborn baby this weekend.
How is that even remotely possible??

Ok...I think I figured it out.

Vodka, beer, cake, vodka, cake, sausage rolls, cinnamon rolls, red wine, cake.

8lbs. Currently residing on my ass.

Congrats to Debi, and thanks for being my 200th follower on my sidebar! I gotta tell you, it has been a rough road to get to 200...I have been stuck at 197-198 for weeks...been losing followers as fast as I have been gaining them.

Can't really think of anything about me that people dont like, I mean, Im pretty damn perfect...Must be because of the cancer talk...some people LOVE cancer, and I may have offended them by raising money to give to cancer research. If you are one of those people who love cancer, Im sorry I offended you. Please come back. That has to be the reason, right? Let's see...what else do I even talk about? Vodka, screaming at my kids...cant be those, I mean, my mormon friends always tell me how great those posts are...arent I pretty? Is that it? Are you leaving me because Im ugly? How frickin shallow are you people? I mean, we cant all be pretty??!! That's why I teamed up with Deb, anyway!! She's pretty, and Im not, we compliment each other! Unless...you dont think...is this because I smell? How do you people even know I smell? Look, it's a medical condition, and I dont think it's fair that you...wait...you couldnt know unless...are you following me??!! I mean, how fucking creepy is that? Im calling the cops...leave me alone!!!

And to the rest of you...thanks for your unconditional love. Please dont leave me...my self-respect hinges on your presence.

By the way, Tuesdays are Tuesday's Tributearound here...You got something or someone you wanna tribute? Come see what we're doing!!

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36 comments:

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Aw Jay....I think I gain 8 pounds a day sometimes, at least yours was spread out over a weekend. And it sounds like it was a great weekend and well worth the extra poundage.

And dont worry about me, Im no quitter and you will need a restraining order to get me to un-follow you, k??

Under the Influence said...

I think someone came into your house over the weekend and recalibrated your scale, making it appear you weigh more than you do. Yeah, that's it!

jill jill bo bill said...

I just kept having visions of you saying "get in my belly". Stop. Really. Stop..okay, do it again.

Shannon said...

Yum yum sausage rolls! It's about the only thing my hubby loves from back home I love too. He's an Aussie and not English. Oh, his diet is septic tank like most of the time where my tastes are a bit healthier. :-) Good luck on dropping the 'healthy newborn' weight!

Alicia said...

That all sounded pretty darn healthy to me. I dont know where the 8lbs came from lol!

Mary Moore said...

I will never leave you, 8 lbs heavier or not.

Kristina P. said...

My Mormon heart is always following you.

~K~ said...

Jay, I'm a dedicated stalker. Oops, I mean follower... :) You keep me entertained!

April said...

wow! 200... i'm in awe. i'm still fumbling around 50 :-/ so saddddddd

CaJoh said...

I don't want to weigh myself because I have been drinking coke during my recent cold and I know that one can of coke equals one pound.

I just hit my 40th follower mark on Saturday— don't know if I'll ever have that many followers but congratulations on having 200.

Brittany said...

Hey, those 8lbs could totally be water retention. Liquor can do that...cake too.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

A lil meat is good to hold onto ;)

As far as followers go, sometimes it baffles me, much like Feedburner. And Twitter, how the #s fluctuate. Ah well. I'm not goin' anywhere ;)

John, Jessica and Emma said...

Oh Jay...Thank you!! I needed that to start my monday morning!! You crack me up.... it is always easier to gain those 8 lbs than to lose them... :)

I loved the new born baby reference!! HILARIOUS :)
Jessica

Becky said...

Eight pounds, huh? I've seen worse... :)

angie said...

Blogger ate my comment.

I hate that.

Admit it. This morning you weighed less......it's not fair to weigh in in the morning then at night. :)

When did you join the hot dad bloggers? Does your wife know? jk

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

It looks good on you, don't worry.

All I have to do is look at cake and I gain 8 pounds, do don't feel bad :)

Jen said...

its probably just water weight. It will go away, hopefully.

And I know what you are saying, what is it with people following and not following. I lost a few today too, what is it. There should be a place to fill in a mandatory reason for leaving when some one stops. I want to know why!

Tenakim said...

you should joinin my KMBFBAG mr linky- your 8 lb weigth gain will be making us ladies (me) feel better about falling off the wagon!

Doublebanker said...

Holy criky...That's like 4 or 5 "Six packs and a pound" from Taco Johns!

Check out my Daily Gif Blog when ya have a chance...2 more days left for my contest!

DB

Doublebanker said...

Give Jay a few clicks like I did...to help promote dropping the weight!

Heather of the EO said...

JAY, it's not you, even if you are getting fat. (: Blogger is eating followers everywhere. Something is broken. I lost 8 in less than an hour and I'm pretty sure my rambling on about mommy bloggers today wasn't all that offensive...

maybe they'll fix it. What bothers me most is that it will appear to the followers that aren't there anymore, even though they most likely didn't go away on purpose, are going to think I blocked them or something. Yikes.
Dumb blogger.

Bee and Rose said...

I think what has happened here, if I may be so bold, is that you really are becoming a chick...the female species can gain 47 lbs eating one stinkin Hershey's kiss! LOL! Sounds like you had a delicious weekend though!

I lost a follower this morning too...my first casualty...I know who it is too (and find it hilarious that "they" left..I'm really quite harmless..)...I cried, screamed, rolled around the floor wailing asking God "wwwhhhyyyy??" and then I dusted myself off and blogstalked.

Yeah, I'm like Denise Sunflowers Chocolate..I'm no quitter either:)

Michelle said...

Man do I feel your pain......in that ass that is. I think I put on 5 pounds this weekend and I wasn't even eating a ton of crap. I'm sure it is all water weight. :)

Blogger is eating followers! You should check your own list to make sure you are still showing up as public on friends blogs.

Soxy Deb said...

8 POUNDS?!?! Well surely that's not right. You must have still been slightly inebriated when you read the scale. Chalk it up to a mistake and check it again next Monday. And not a minute before then.

Mama Kat said...

Bummer. According to Summer blogger killed off a bunch of our followers...now you're down to a mere 185....sucks.

And I'm not laughing behind your back. I lost 15 too. It's a blogging travesty.

Candice said...

Jay, perhaps the 8 lbs is from the new penis pump you purchased from Edens Fantasies.

Told you it would work!!

C. Bowie Photography said...

8 lbs of fun.. thats the way I see it.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Just think of it as getting ready to celebrate Fat Tuesday!

Haley Nicodemus said...

Good luck with the 8 lbs. It always amazes me how much we fluctuate.

So you stink..and you're ugly? What a bad combo!

angie said...

I read this post feeling fat and pretty with my followers and by the time I had finished I had lost 20 followers. I thought you must be bad luck. But, alas, it's not you.......and, good news. It's not you. You don't stink or anything!
http://a-nut-in-a-nutshell.blogspot.com/2009/02/blogger-has-gone-crazy-unfollowing.html

kel said...

I gained ten pounds just reading that list. Don't worry, we women like our men with meat on their bones.

and I posted a tribute today? can I link it tommorrow and add the button or is that lame??

Lee said...

Here's what you did, you drank an assload of alcohol.
When my niece needed to gain weight for the air force, she drank whiskey. Lots of whiskey. And she gained 10 pounds very, very quickly.

Beth said...

How is it fair to gain the pounds so easily but getting them off? Good gawd at the work!

jill jill bo bill said...

Don't look now but you are at 190. Followers, fool. Followers.

Jenners said...

Well, you might lose followers if you ate an 8-pound baby but not for gaining 8 pounds in a weekend. That just makes us all feel better.

And in case you are freaking about dropping below 200 again, there is some following issue going on with Blogger. I read about it on BlueViolet's blog. Here is the link:

http://a-nut-in-a-nutshell.blogspot.com/2009/02/blogger-has-gone-crazy-unfollowing.html

Tabitha Blue/Fresh Mommy said...

8 pounds... me too.

But I wish I had the weekend you did!

:)
~Tabitha~

freshmommyblog.com

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson