Friday, February 13, 2009

I don't feel a day over 200.

My dear friend Deb had a fine idea this get people to share their first posts, a look back at where we had come from. The timing of this for me is quite...well...timely, as I am dangerously close to putting up my 200th post. So maybe this will do for a celebration, and we'll just get plugging along towards good ol' 300.

If you would like to play and give Deb some serious reading to do this coming weekend, go post your link on her Mr Linky, and repost your first post. As I read my own, I notice that my writing and topic selection is going downhill...quickly. Pretty soon will be nothing but 24/7 fart jokes. Hope you enjoy. PPffffft.

Originally posted August 23, 2008.

During a recent bout with morbid curiosity, I spent some time with a Life Expectancy Calculator, trading facts about my physical and mental past for...a number. A number which absolutely plays into the category of, “If you don’t want to know, seriously, don’t ask.”

So lets have a look at my scoresheet of suspect decision making to-date:

I smoked for roughly 17 years until the pretty girl I was courting said she would never marry a smoker.

I’ve had a weight swing of roughly 40 lbs in the past 20 years, and the swing rarely comes down…that damn gravity…

I spend the better part of my career in traffic, and when you couple that choice with a fairly significant and nagging case of ADD, my odds of a fiery demise are pretty well astronomical as compared to the norm.

And, I love you Mom, but you’re British. Your DNA isn’t gonna do me any favors, nor is Dad’s. Unless…do you want to share any deep dark secret about abducting me from a Russian couple on a yogurt farm outside Vladivostok?



As in, holy shyte ........... 72.

Let’s set aside the really emotional stuff for now, like the chance of missing a father-daughter dance, a grand-birth, or leaving my wife so early that she feels she HAS to replace me, and deal with the purely selfish. Time is no longer endless, like it was when I was a kid... you couldn’t move the clock no matter how hard you tried… couldn’t make Santa come but once a year, couldn't stretch summer to feel like it lasted more than a couple of days. Now, especially with kids, time moves exponentially, horrifyingly so.

72 means I’m well past halftime, and I only just realized. And clearly I haven’t been paying attention, and therefore haven’t been planning. Haven't been learning my lessons, haven’t been applying them to avoid the ones to come. If there were ever a time to start to do it “right”, it’s now.

So, at the tender age of 40, I'll call this lesson number one. Get with it, already.

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Deb said...

i remember this. i like how it kind of sets up the whole thing on where you're going with the blog.

listen... and i am not just saying this because i like you so much... you don't look a day over 150. really.

Young Momma said...

I remember reading this!!! It was the first time I read your blog. How have you had almost 200 posts and you started posting four months after me?!?! lol Maybe I would be too if I hadn't deleted half of mine... anyway! I can't believe I've been following you and Deb for as long as I have! :)

Beth said...

Great post! It reminds me of the health assessment I had a couple of months ago. My strength was good. My weight was good. My diet was fair. And my flexibility was very poor. Not poor but very poor. What the hey?! They really want me to stretch and bend before I run? I just can't seem to work it in - but you've inspired me to try.

Anonymous said...

How come your first post isn't lame? That's kind of irritating. ;)

Denise said...

Very nice first post Jay

Debbie said...

I feel horrible that this is my first visit to you. I see you everywhere I go and of course read about your wonderful altruism. Thanks to Deb for getting me reading some new blogs. It is certainly nice to finally make it over to yours.

Tenakim said...

how innocent and green and lacking of cuss words!

Annie said...

I don't think I read this one! Glad you gave up the Smokes!

jill jill bo bill said...

I thought you were some damn macho football maniac testosterone oozing blog. Boy, was I wrong.

Love you, Jayman.

Jenni said...

I never read this and I am glad you reposted it. Now I get the name--and I LOVE it! By the way, have I ever told you you're a fabulous writer? I should really come over more often.

Summer said...

Wow, look at you starting out so deep!

I need to go check my age thing.

According my holistic friend, there is no starting tomorrow. Tomorrow is DISEASE! (this was her facebook update yesterday.)

Shoot, wonder what mine will be after I just ate over 2000 calories of Valentines Day chocolate in 48 hours.

Sera said...

I'm curious to check out that calculator. I love this first post. You've got such a following I had no idea you hadn't even been blogging a year. I'm so glad you started, though - I'm a big fan of your blog.

Tabitha Blue said...

Love that post!! Haha.... going downhill, well, at least it's enjoyable!! I want to get in on it. I'll have to pull up my first post and link it up!

Happy 200 posts!!!! Way to go. Makes me think, I'll have to check mine now, I have NO IDEA what number I'm at.


Straight to Your Hart said...

So the whole gravity thing has me heading SOUTH..crap!!

I love having learning and growing (not my height, issues with that one)opportunities.

Great first post. Nice to see you are still married and posting regularly (hubby has come close to grounding me from the computer, divorcing me would be to d@#$ expensive). tehe!!! :)

The Eadle Family said...

haha, apparently, I will live to 72 as well. Damn! lol

Jennifer Richins said...

I'm started this blog in August and have already had 200 posts? I started a year and a half ago and I'm pushing 50! You should do a fun give away or something to celebrate.

I just did that life expectancy calculator and came up with 102! Who wants to be 102 when they die? At least you wont be old and decrepid and pissing yourself regularly when you go out.

Rachael said...

wow, that was a great 1st post...i actually think i read it when you 1st wrote it too!

Lee of MWOB said...

Jay - great first post. I actually already read it the first time I came across your blog. It's a good one. And memorable too. I know things must be busy for you - hope all is well and see ya soon....

Happy Friday!



Lee said...

I remember, that's the first post that I read when I came here. And it made me stick around.

I still think you'll live longer than that.

Jenners said...

This was cool! Now I know what your blog name means. I always assumed it had something to do with football or advice dispensed from a guy during the halftime of a game. Now I know. Mystery solved.

And I'm glad to hear your mom's surgery went well.

And I can't believe you haven't been blogging for years and years!

Soxy Deb said...

Ha! I'm with Jenners, I thought the blog name was football related too. This post answers so many questions. And it's not that I couldn't have just gone through your archives and read it myself, but I'm lazy. So this worked better for me.

My 'first" post didn't show up in reader for some reason, and I've had only one visitor. So now I'm having to go blog to blog begging for visitors.....please come visit me....I'll even do a table dance if necessary.

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson