I wrote this on the way home last night. My mom was scheduled for surgery today, but due to a somewhat ironic twist, her surgeon is sick. So now she has been bumped a week, until Friday 13th. I know. Don't say it. So while I am in Cancer mode, I'll just remind you all...to donate just a little would mean the world to some kids yet to have their lives rocked by a terrible disease. Please help. And to those of you who already have, I am humbled by your generosity and faith in me to put this money in the right hands.
Also!! make sure you go see what Lee and Em have planned for to honor Tuesday Whitt tomorrow...what an AMAZING idea.
How do you love?
My mom taught me how. She used her happiness, her pain, her youth and naivite, her age and experience, and she loved. The thing about men and love is, some feel like lesser men if they express it, even feel it. My mother forgot to teach me that lesson.
Instead, She described to me the beauty of a tulip, the good in my father, the decadence of a bar of sweet chocolate, the way a movie lifted her. She felt in her whole being these things that showed easily on her face. Then she did everything she could to describe what she was feeling, though I'm sure the words never reached the intensity of the beauty she felt.
As the years passed, as we all do, I found my own pain. Scarred by a woman, disappointed by a friend, leathered by life. It only took a few falls before responses were no longer cheerful, laughs were no longer plentiful, and the lines on my face my face and hands were the record of those who I felt had wronged me. Self-indulgent lines that, for a time, I made no attempt to ignore.
But that's the thing about love, and the real lesson my mother taught me. With the fundamental lessons of being ABLE to love, find love, and BE loved in place, it was only time that stood between me and the ability to amplify those lessons. And when the time was right, I opened my soul to another, and asked her to be mine. She gave me a daughter, and then a son. And as though unconsciously tapping my toes to music faintly rising, I was loving again.
Often I am ribbed for my feminine side, and there was a time when the jeers bothered me, but no longer. For I know what an unbelievable blessing I've been given...to feel, and to love. I'm a man of few talents, but this I can give my kids easily. Just by seeing it on my face, and loving.
I love you, Mom.