Friday, January 9, 2009

P...P...P...Put the needle in the bumper



So, click to enlarge this photo. Look close.



No, I am not a seamstress for Pottery Barn Kids.

We bought this crib bumper five years ago at PBK...my daughter used it, and then my son. Then one day last year, my wife was washing and changing his bedding when I heard her yell out in the next room. I ran in to find her holding this thing and saying "Look at this!!"

One of the $1000 per hour assembly gurus in a foreign manufacturing facility had been sewing away, only to lose their needle inside the bumper. And at that point, given their obvious attention to detail, they opted to leave that sucker in there, and simply grab a new one...all the while thinking, "serves you right, American Pig Dogs."

Now, living in the litigious society we do, we sued that foreigner, their government, Pottery Barn, and several mommies in the courtroom audience who had simply come to support us...no we didn't. We aren't really the "suing type", and we have more money than God. (snicker)

We took this bumper back 4 years after we bought it, explained what happened to the $1000 per hour employee at our local PBK, who then tried to tell me that she would have to give me the clearance price as it was 4 years old.

I threw the calmest and yet most ominous hissy you have ever heard. I cited the following points:

This pin could have skewered my daughter's eyeball.
Or my son's.
My tone is deceiving. When I sound calm is when you should know how critically and post office furious I am.
We are not sue-happy people.
We came here first, not Channel 8.
I am relatively well-spoken, and wouldn't mind speaking to several hundred people in the mall today.
I am happy to wait while you find out how to give me full value for your death bumper.

We got our money back.



Related Posts:
Wordful Wednesday - "Watch Yer Mouth, Kid."
Wordful Wednesday - "Bad Dreams"

PhotoStory Friday
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41 comments:

Kelly Deneen said...

Woah! That is crazy!! I am glad you got your money back.

Sheri and George said...

Way to go! Next time I need something can I take you along?

Carol @SheLives said...

You could run an Item Return Service and charge big bucks with your calm, postal ways.

Good thing nothing bad actually did happen with the bumper.

Tenakim said...

Are you shitting me??? That's amazing. I'm not the suing type either... I just bitch and moan and pitch a fit, but really, suing is too much work and energy!

Rachael said...

oh my gosh, that is crazy. wow! i am glad you got your money back!

Annie said...

I can'tbelieve it took that long to find either! Maybe you can get a discount on the next kids' set! :)

angi_b72 said...

Good for you!! That is absolutely insane!!

CaJoh said...

Put the needle in the bumper
put the needle in the bumper
put the needle in the bumper when the tantrum goes like this…

Boy, that brings me back— who did that song anyway…

Momma said...

WOW! That is scary! Good to hear you put up a fight!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

That is kinda scary! Bo's bumper was from PBK. I feel I must go find it & look for needles!

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

OMG! So scary, but go you!

KatieZ said...

I had this happen once, only it was not a needle it was a safety pin that was inside a blanket. It was holding the cotton batting to the actual material of the blanket. It was my son's and he was 2 months old! I wasn't brave enough to take it back, but I still have the blanket. Do you think they would take it back after 9 years?! LOL!

Glad nothing bad happened!

Elaine A. said...

Seriously??? Wow, that's just crazy. Glad you didn't have to get mad before they gave you your $ back!

Kristina P. said...

Holy cow! Glad no one died!

A Buns Life said...

That is so scary that you found a needle, but so totally awesome that you got your money back! Did you get to keep the bumper or did you have to give it back?

amelia bedelia said...

what in the heck! I would have sued. hehee.

Young Momma said...

Uhmm... I give you a massive amount of credit for being such a better person than me! I would have sued the crap out of them! Then again - I'm super poor. So, there. :P I'm also a massive bitch - but, whatever. lol!

Denise said...

That is scary....thankfully both of your kiddos missed that needle and your wife was the one to find it. What did you do with the money you got back??

blueviolet said...

Good for you! I wouldn't have settled for less than full price either.

Michelle said...

Holy cow. That would be kind of disturbing to find a needle left in a baby bumper. Glad no one was injured while using it.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

So glad you caught that and it never had the chance to do any damage.

Too Cool that you got you full refund too!

Frogs in my formula said...

That's awesome (your responses, that is). I'm happy nothing bad came of this and I cannot believe that idiot tried to give you the sale price. What is wrong with people? Maybe PBK and its employees are so immersed in the child labor thing they're, you know, devoid of feeling.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I am glad you got your money back! That is AWFUL! Sheesh!

Amanda said...

Sheesh! That's a horrible find! I'm glad you got your money back but more importantly, I'm glad that nothing happened to your children!

Angela said...

I should of had you along with me a few months ago while I was throwing a hissy in Target. It got me absolutely no where except 3 phone calls to a 1-800 # in India with NO result. Well I might have had results but I could never understand the man on the phone! Good job!

Beth said...

Well, hell! I should have had you go talk to the folks at Target for me.

I am impressed. Truly.

Tony said...

I love that you use one of my favorite tactics. The calm yet very piercing voice. As thought the gates of hell are about to open and my head is going to do the exorcist 360 projectile punk thing. Then, as though nothing has happened very coldly ask. " So, do we have an understanding?" As you know the next step is to stand on the bench in the food court and hold court.

Sarahlcc said...

Thanks to you, I now have absolutely no more cravings for the incredible Pottery Barn bedroom set for my boys I saw in their latest catalog.

jill jill bo bill said...

OMG!I thought it was needle in haystack, not bumper pad!! Good for you, meanie.

Christina said...

That is just plain scary!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Guess that's why that PBK ad disappeared from your sidebar? You're gonna lose that BlogHer status if you're not careful :) Good job. 'Cept I'd have gone in with a camera crew from the local TV station. Just in case.

SweetPeaSurry said...

OMG ... that's HORRIBLE!!! I can't believe that. Well actually I can believe that ... I just don't WANT to believe it. I'm glad ya got ye money back though.

Cassie said...

That is amazing! I'm surprised that they didn't insist on proof of purchase. I'm happy for you that your children didn't find it first!

Thanks for stopping by and for the "congrats"! I'm pretty psyched about getting back into the lavish lifestyle that I am normally accustomed to! Ha!

OHmommy said...

Whoa... you are officially the got to person for all my complaints, as of now.

Susan said...

Unbelievable! Glad you fought until you got your money back. I guess that employee wasn't thinking through the possibilities until you calmly presented them to her.

Jenn P. said...

Very impresive! I need to have you call some people for me!

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

Scary! Glad that neither of your children were hurt while using this. Also glad that you were able to obtain the full price!

Wendyburd1 said...

GOOOOO Jay!! How scary!!

Brittany said...

Aside from the fact that that is absolutely horrifying....I can't stop laughing over the use of the term death bumper....HILARIOUS!

A Family Completed... said...

That's crazy thankfully after 4 years your children were not hurt. I would've been throwing more than a hissy ;)

Wep said...

OMG Bravo to you :)

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson