Monday, January 26, 2009

What am I wearing? My kids' college fund.



Not to be outdone by my dear friends Deb and Angie, I present to you my attire today. Perhaps this photo looks like any other, but for me it tells a number of stories.

Vans, 7 years old, $40. I love Vans. They make me feel like I'm 40 and a half again.

Shirt, Steve and Barry's, $6. I ABHOR spending money on clothing. But this little number is a perfect ride, until the bus screeches to a halt in wardrobe hell at...

Lucky Jeans, I have no idea where, $100. Yes, my wife buys me jeans. I tell her not to. She does it anyway. I tell her to take them back. She won't. I tell her I'd rather die than wear something called Lucky Jeans. She says whatever. Then I wear them, TO CUT WOOD. $100 jeans to cut wood. Yup, perfect.

Respirator, $18, Harbor Freight. My fav article of clothing today, since sawdust and smoke give me a lung infection and make me sick for 2 weeks. Not kidding. Both my neighbors smoke, btw. In their driveways. I'm buying a gun.

And one final point tonight, my wife and her friend went shopping on Saturday. I fully prepared myself to see her come through the door with her arms full of bags. Hell, I expected it. Instead, she walks in with ONE bag.

Guesses? Anyone? C'mon, push yourselves...

Yep. Jeans. For me. $100.

It's kinda like when that tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it fucking scream that it doesn't want any more fucking $100 jeans.




Hey. It's Tuesday's Tribute tomorrow...are you gonna play? I'm thinking of tributing my neighbors, clutching their packs of Lucky Strikes, and giving me the finger from their yards as they make every effort to exhaust the bulk of their lung butter in the direction of my kids. Or maybe I'll tribute that little hooligan who I saw break a bottle at the base of their driveways tomorrow morning. Sure, I'll go looking for him with you, just gimme a call after you change those tires.

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35 comments:

Annie said...

The $100 jeans will last longer and look better than 3.5 $30 pairs that will fade and shrink and all that good stuff. I'm sure jeans are your staple,so it makes perfect sense. I'm really beginning to love your wife.We have so much in common. I bought The Man his $100 pair on sale at Nordys for $78 last week.

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Is it just me or is Jay getting a little more fiesty as he blogs along? I mean the f-bomb is dropping all over the place and it's getting all raw and a tinge of angry and well...

I like it. :-)

Especially the breathing apparatus.

And why in God's name are you cutting wood?

P.S. Your wife seems like a saint. So calm and lovely and selfless walking in with those jeans for you. You're Mr. Lucky in those jeans and out of those jeans too...

:-0

Sera said...

Lucky jeans are awesome. Crazy expensive, but awesome. And your wife obviously loves you dearly if she went shopping and came home with them for you. So, what I think you should take from this is that if she ever comes home with a pair of JC Penney or Target jeans for you, you better sit down and have a nice, long chat. I, too, am wondering why you are cutting wood.

Oh, and as I was loading my dishwasher I think I decided on my Tuesday's Tribute - I do my best thinking when I load the dishwasher. But, it's not set in stone. I'll figure it out. I love Tuesday's Tribute.

Candice said...

God, you are my husband aren't you? Do you complain about your $100 jeans cutting off the circulation to your testicles? If so, you DEFINITELY are my husband.

BTW, the mask is sexy.

Young Momma said...

I hate smoking neighbors!!! My stupid neighbor (mentioned plenty of times in my blog - mainly the gangster and the whore post) smokes RIGHT by my window. UGH! I can't stand her!

Young Momma said...

Oh... click click on your ads btw :)

Halftime Lessons said...

Im building a new wing onto my house. Well, It will be a "special place", where I can "bring" my "friends" to spend special time together. Also, when my wife does tings that she should be remorseful over, she will be "encouraged" to go to the "special room" until such time as we can discuss the behavior.


For newcomers to my blog, yes, I am aware of how unbelievably creepy I just was. I encourage you to check with the regulars to gain perspective into the darker corners of my brain.

I built a flat surface to go on my son's playtable so that he can play with the car track he got for Christmas.

Is that better?

Eudea-Mamia said...

Neighbors that smoke. Love them.

Nothing better than finding your toddler at the end of the driveway with a butt in his hand. (actual site)

I take back all the complaining over my neighbor's dog crapping on my front lawn. At least that's biodegradable.

Halftime Lessons said...

And Candice, it makes my so happy to hear you approve of my style sense. I have it filled chock full of Vicks Vaporub.

Under the Influence said...

Put on that respirator and go tell your neighbors to quit blowing their toxic smoke at your kids! And wear those $100 jeans, too, when you have that chat!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

You are so sexy in that respirator I never even noticed the jeans

Becky Sue said...

Dont abuse those jeans .. consignment sale 'em! :)

The Frugal Angel-Guided Psychic said...

I have to laugh since my DH is a cabinet maker and your look is a little, shall we say,.... reserved. He lives in the $35.00 (on sale of course), double kneeded, triple stitched, heavy belt looped thicker than leather Carhart Jeans. The mask, a second face around here.

But then again maybe you'll have to pass it down the the little "quartertime lesson" so she can go outside to see the sun in all that crappy smoke... yuck!

Click, click-idy,click on your ads my dear masked friend!

Mama Kat said...

I agree with Annie...you know complaining about Lucky jeans to a bunch of ladies just isn't going to fly up in here.


...will you build my daughter a tree house??

Mama Kat said...

ps there's an ad under this post that is something about Kristin Belk's fashion something or other...I clicked on it and I think it sucked me in. Accesories for 75% off...dammit...you better have AT LEAST gotten a buck out of that one!!

The Eadle Family said...

haha, if only I could get my fiancee to wear jeans. lol. He is all about the cargo pants. :S

angi_b72 said...

I thought maybe you were building a new closet for all of your Lucky jeans!! lol...I love Luckt Brand jeans!! Your wife has good taste!

Tenakim said...

I'm glad you know how "Lucky" you have it! I wouldn't buy my husband a pair of Lucky jeans if my life depended on it- not only because I am a bitch and would rather just spend the money on myself, but also because it would be the wrong color, size, feel itchy, squeezes his balls- in a bad way... you get the idea... he COMPLAINS about everything I've ever bought him. I haven't bought him a piece of clothing in 7 years!

Mary Moore said...

You look hot.

Girl Friday said...

Three words: Harbor. Freight. ROCKS.

Kristina P. said...

I don't even own a pair of $100 jeans myself. What's next? Going on Gossip Girl?

Surfer Jay said...

Hey if I could relax at home while Lilly goes out and clothes shops for me....

Jenn Peacock said...

LMAO! You come up with the greatest stuff to post about. I love jeans, but with all I have to pay for these days, $100 jeans are not in my budget.

P.S. Vans are cool!

Rachel said...

ok, so jeans are important. i don't care if my husband is wearing his crappy "from the days of high school" tshirt. if he got the jeans on the make his butt look cute, that's all that matters to me. maybe your wife just wants to "Get Lucky." :P

Candice said...

Jay- I'm so on to you now. "flat surface" to go on son's playtable = glory hole.

I'm checking Craigslist as we speak!

Christina said...

I could never pay $100 for jeans. Guilt would follow me around.

Brenda Jean said...

Oooooh, I'm sorry but I am too frickin cheap to buy 100 buck jeans. I would hyperventilate at the register and freak out the cashier. It would be horrible. I can do a $6.00 shirt though. This is no reflection on your wife who sounds so sweet. Just wear the damn jeans.

I'm stuck on my tribute. Stuck I say. And tomorrow is Tuesday. YIKES.

jsprik said...

lol @ special time together and the wife having to go in there...hahahahah....deep breath....hahahahha...love it!!! what's dark about that?? i thought it was frickin' hilarious!! not the new e-mail k~thnx!

jsprik said...

oops supposed to say note the new email, its new!! ok bye

Tony said...

Colleen bought me $125 jeans for my birthday last week. I made her take them back. That is just rubish. I went with her and this store name starting with N had jeans for $285. Jeans? Oh dear lord, what is wrong with $35 Carhart working man jeans? I am not built for designer shit that I need a second mortgage to buy. I am proud of you for building a "Man Cave" good for you.

jill jill bo bill said...

Maybe that is a subliminal message. Lucky....lucky...you're going to get...

Honey Mommy said...

Would your wife like to send some of those $100 jeans my way?

Jenni Jiggety said...

Look at you all rugged and manly!

I love Lucky jeans! Your wife has good taste!

Wep said...

What kind of wife doesn't buy these jeans for herself?????

angie said...

Maybe your wife is trying to tell you something about cutting wood in your 100 dollar jeans by purchasing you another pair.........:) What is the wood for?

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson