Thursday, January 15, 2009

Kat's Workshop...Regarding Kat.


Unless it has escaped you, our fearless writer leader shares the same nickname as my wife. Tonight, I sit to tell you about her. Not MamaKat, MY Kat. I dont really know MamaKat. I mean, all that well. whatever.


The assignment? To identify an inner quality in my spouse that I admire. Which is easy, especially since I elected to marry the gal. There is plenty that draws me to her, endears me to her, holds her in my place that is designed for only one. But I'm afraid, because I'm a conflicted shit, this will be a double edged sword. For there is something that I both admire about her, and am dragged over the coals by...and that is her ability to put emotion aside and do the hard things.

When I brush my son's teeth, I regularly make a game of it...make him laugh, try to squeeze some semblance of fun out of a painful act for a 2 year old. Do I get them sparkling clean? Well, not really...we do ok. When my wife brushes him, I can hear her putting him in the thumbscrews from the next room. Blood-curdling screams abound, but those baby teeth are getting PRISTINE.

I often come in to judge her, as most parents would who get to witness their son tied down having the steel wool applied to his infantile bicuspids. And I often feel like she is treating him like one of her patients at the hospital, who she is administering treatment to despite the howls of pain. Her face clouds over, she puts her Mommy mind aside, and does the work for the betterment of the child.

But it's your son.

That's where my immediate mind goes. My overprotective mind, my parent mind. And I almost forget what I admire about you. Your ability to put it aside. The ability to put it all aside, even for a moment, and do the hard thing. At first I thought you were cold. Unfeeling. And then I realized what blessing that feature is in a Mommy. Our kids are better for your ability to do what needs to be done. It's hard to watch sometimes, but in the end, I know what kind of care my kids are getting.

Thank you, Love.



Thanks to the lovely MamaKat for her creation of the Writer's Workshop, and for putting out a pail for my mental diarrhea.


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32 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Seriously, this was one of the sweetest posts I have read. I didn't know you had it in you, you SOB.

Summer said...

Aw, now that is just so....sweet? ;-)

We moms do have that uncanny ability to put it aside.

In fact, I put it aside more times today than I count. And yesterday...and the day before...

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

'tis the life of a mommy...we get to be unpleasant more than we'd like while Daddy gets to be fun.

BTW I just noticed your meme and award policy...awesome, seriously awesome.

Beth said...

Very nice testament to your wife. It is nice to hear that you see the strength in her to be able to do what needs to be done. I have a lot of kids at my school who need a parent like that. Are you guys open to taking a few?

Deb said...

she's not putting it aside, you dumbass... it's all there, right underneath, hidden to those that don't know better (ie: YOU). her heart is pounding and she doesn't want to do it anymore than you do! but it has to get done.

my husband is like you. reminds me of when we had to take our sweet, 1 yo son to the emergency room to get his face sewn up... hubs wouldn't let just any old er doc touch his kid's face. he had a pediatric facial plastic surgeon drive his butt back to the hospital. when the time came to get the job done, hubs was suddenly NOWHERE to be found. i got the really fantastic job of holding my precious, screaming boy down while the dr sewed him up. i had to look him in the eye and tell him to hang in there, while the blood gushed and my baby begged the dr. to stop. interestingly, when the screaming subsided, dear mr. hubs miraculously reappeared to play the good guy... making my son laugh and cuddling the pain away.

Deb said...

can you tell you hit a nerve??

and just to clear things up, i wasn't calling YOU a dumbass (well i was at the time, but now i am trying to dig my way out), i was calling the COLLECTIVE you (men) a dumbass.

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

What a wonderful sweet post for your wife!!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I just made my husband read this post (he thinks bloggers are an evil cult or something) because it was sooo sweet. I too, was the disciplinarian here, he was the "fun" one. They still like him better than me, but they have beautiful teeth and know how to behave in public, or at least when I'm around.

That being said, I've posted lovely things about my better half. Can't wait to see your wife's response :)

@Deb - that is such a familiar story...

Tenakim said...

you're such a softie- it can't hurt that she freaking looks like FAITH HILL!!!

Annie said...

Seriously, ou wussy dads need to brush up and get 'er done. My husband does the same exact thing. A little screaming never hurt anyone.

angie said...

And she's gorgeous too. :)

Tony said...

You married up brother. She is a keeper for sure. Nice to see your softer side.

Momisodes said...

Wow. Your dynamic sounds just like ours. Only Dadisodes is also the recipient of being tied down to get things like eye drops placed into his eyes. He's like you, and I, "nurse ratchet", put my emotions aside (superficially) when dealing with the both of them :)

A very sweet post to your beautiful wife.

blueviolet said...

That was very sweet and it takes talent to give a loving tribute while still poking a few jabs. Bravo! ;) Your wife sounds fabulous!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

I can only hope my hubby would say the same things about me.

Lovely post.

Heatherlyn said...

I'm here from the Mr. Linky at the Writer's Workshop. Kudos to you for being able to see a situation for what it is and not what it appears to be. :)

KatieZ said...

Why, why, why...do daddies get to do all the fun things? I am the one that spends umpteen hours with our 11 month old, doing everything from reading stories to playing on the floor with the baby toys. But when daddy comes home from 16 hours of work...Wiggle runs straight to the door, and jumps to her daddy from 2 feet away! Is this how it will be forever?! DADDY=Good, MOMMY=Bad!?

Cute post Jay, Next time you should say how pretty she looks doing it too! LOL!

Sometimes Sophia said...

Wow... this could be a hornets nest. What you meant as a tribute sort of makes Kat sound like a hygiene Nazi. Funny? Sweet? Maybe, but I'd be falling on the sword if I were you.

The Odd Duck said...

*claps* Wonderful post Sir. I've notice that ability in mom's because you know that hearing those cries has to be killing her inside.

- Kendall from Mama Kat's

tara @ kidz said...

Excellent tribute to your fab wife.

Clare said...

Hey Jay!! Life has been busy and I haven't stopped by in a while...my you are popular!! I hope you are doing well, and had a great holiday. I love how I write like we are great friends:) I love this about your wife, I tend to do the same thing. Strap Bradley down to cut his fingernails or whatever. Chris always takes the lighter approach:) C

Jenners said...

Um...what Deb said.

And I wanted you to know that I'm going on vacation but am linking to your blog as a "fun thing to do while I'm away" type post. The link is here if you are interested...I know I always like to know who is linking to me:

http://mrsfligs.blogspot.com/2009/01/by-time-you-read-this-i-will-be-gone.html

Amanda said...

What a lovely post about your wife! I think many dads probably feel that way but few would put it in words so precisely.

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Awwww, what a sweet post to your beautiful wife! She's definitely a keeper! ;)

Sera said...

This is a fantastic post - You put it so well. It sounds like you two are the perfect balance for each other. Your family is so beautiful!

jill jill bo bill said...

Quit being whimpy and making your kid have gingivitis!!! Mommies always have to have the balls. Thanks for being aware she has bigger ones than you, dear Jay. Now go buy her a diamond or something.

Jen said...

that is so cool that you picked up on that. what a great thing to admire.

jsprik said...

**hides her filthy teeth** mmmnmnmnmngreanmnmnnmt pomnmnmnmnstnmnmnmjaymnmnmnmn!! ;)**runs to brush her teeth**

Mrs4444 said...

Sweet. So, you're the softy, huh?

Now, you've inspired me to write a post about toothbrushing. Not sure when I'll post it (next week some time?) I'll link to your post and let you know... Thanks.

Brittany said...

I find my hubby is the same way. I do it becasue it needs done, even at the expense of a 5 minute temper tantrum. He tries so hard not to upset them, and then it ultimately results in me stepping in 20 minutes later, andfinishing up the task. It may be rougher, but it only took me 30 seconds. I think he just feel slike he gets such little time with them, he wants it to be painless:)

Eudea-Mamia said...

Being a Mommy - it ain't for wimps.

Very nice tribute.

Mama Kat said...

I sure hope your wife thought that was as sweet as everyone is saying it was...but if MY husband wrote about ME making my kid scream I'd be a little less than thrilled. Kind of like a back handed compliment. Thank you...I think.

Next time just talk about how much she LOVES her baby...that'll score you some points...and maybe get you some action.

Good luck to you kind sir.

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson