Friday, January 23, 2009

3 Issues in Need of Female Intellect


Good evening my sweet, soft, smart and WHITE HOT female friends...

I again need your help. Today, with 3 questions...so here we go.

1. In my last post I showed you my new Acer Eee pride and joy, about which my fantastic-commenting friend Beth from What I Should Have Said asked, "Does she have a name yet?" And No, she doesn't! Will you think of a name for her?

2. My wife's birthday is SOON. She is beautiful, girly, and I will be leaving to go out of town ON her birthday, so I REALLY need your help here...what should I get her? Please keep your suggestions out of the diamond jewelry case. And no sleeved blankets, Kristina.

3. My daughter is 4.5 years old, and has a May birthday. We have had a number of people ask us if we plan to put her into Kindergarden this year, or hold her a year more before she goes. Have any of you faced this dilemma? I was a year and a half younger than everyone else in my grade right thru college, and I believe it created an unfair challenge for me, developmentally, that other kids simply weren't faced with. I tend to think that if I can give my daughter the advantage of being in the OLDER half of the kids in her class, wouldn't that be putting her in a more advantaged place to succeed? Will you share your thoughts?

Thanks, smartypantses. In all seriousness, I love your comments, and value your opinions. If I didn't, I wouldnt drop my issues in your lap like a carcass being dragged into the lion's den.

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53 comments:

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

For no.s 1&2 I am absolutely useless...

I haven't had to put a kid in school yet, but like you I was always younger than my classmates, and looking back it showed. I was younger and so much less mature than my "friends". I say why rush it? When it comes down to it I think my July baby will be starting once he is 6 too. (although we have time to decide on that still)

Annie said...

I'm just about to head to bed so I won't get into along drawn out answer for #3.However,as a teacher with over 10 years under my belt, and the mother of a May baby,I strongly suggest you ship her off! She'll do better than you will! :)My good friend who teaches Kindy and I often discuss this very issue!
My 5 yo is doing very well this year.

I'll think on the other 2!

Annie said...

Also- wanted to add I belong to a May Mom's board of 20 moms.All but 1 of us sent our kids this year at 5- the kid who didn't go has special needs.
They were of varying maturity and abilities & every one of them is doing well!

Tiffany said...

I like the name Tiffany. LOL

Buy her an awesome purse. That's what I'm buying, I mean my hubby is buying for MY birthday.

And I was born in February and I started school when I was 5. I never had any problems. My son missed the deadline by 2 weeks so he starts school this fall. He's gonna be the older kid. At least he'll be the first to buy beer. LOL

Beadiful Things said...

Computer. No clue.

Wife...shoot -- no clue.

I was an August birthday (8/4), so I was always the youngest too. I gotta tell you...I never really noticed it. Matter of fact, I didn't even become overly aware that I was younger than most of my peers until it came time to make this decision about my son (who is a June birthday, 6/20) and was talking to my sister about it (a September birthday, 9/1) and we decided that we did just fine and so would he. So far so good, but we're just talking pre-school at the moment.

Tenakim said...

get your wife a babysitter.

I was always the baby in my classes (Sept 26- when the cut off was Oct 1) Never had a problem. I will say- being old... we "wondered" about the people that were a year older in school. Back in the day- it was unheard of to hold kids back unless they flunked. I know that's an old school of thought, but I always think of it.

I have, and my sister has, all put our kids (8 of 'em!) in when they COULD go. I agree with Annie on this one. No reason to hold them back, don't. If she needs to adjust, she'll adjust.

Kristen Zirkle said...

1.Name a computer? No help for you there. I am not one to name inanimate objects though.

2.Birthday-take her on a mini-vaca. Or just a nice evening out to see a cool band or something. I'll babysit-seriously. And on the actual day, the day you are leaving, get her some earrings from Ann.

3. Send her! I was a Sept. birthday. Always the young one-still am with my old friends! Think of it this way-she will still be 17 when she is a senior and not able to get into a lot of clubs (speaking from experience). She is a smart cookie and will do great. Just have Kat write the note I told her to. ;)

Candace Jean July 16 said...

#1 - Hottie

#2--I got the most awesome bracelet from www.holybracelets.com from my staff at work. You can have them custom made with special stones and scripture verses. Mine is the "Faith, Hope, Love" one, but search around. You'll find the perfect one. But I would also take a monogrammed "Snugglie" in a heartbeat.

#3 - 3 kids and sent them all later rather than sooner and don't regret it. It's particularly good for boys who want to play high school football until they're 21. In all seriousness, I'm glad I sent them late, but they probably would have survived either way.

tommie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tommie said...

coming out of lurkdom to comment about #3...

I have a five year old early June birthday BOY.... We kept him out this year, but did put him in a four day PreK half day program. I am very happy with the decision. As a former middle school teacher, most BOYS can benefit from staying home a year. Girls, I think, tend to mature at different rates. Has she gone to a formal preschool setting at all? Seriously though, she should be able to start at five and be fine.


For what it's worth, that is my two cents.

as for a birthday...a watch? a great bag? a camera lens...oh wait, that is what I wanted

Candice said...

1. Ben Dover

2. Uh, one word. Okay, maybe two. SPA DAY!! Oh, and a house cleaning service for that extra special bonus.

3. I was the youngest kid in my class and I think I ended up okay. Hmm, so maybe that wasn't the best example. Seriously, it sucked when everyone else got their drivers license before me, but it wasn't a big deal. I wusn't hinddered in eny way ackademickly speakin. And guess what? Those aholes are 1 year older than I am at this point. Now what?

Denise said...

Not sure about #1

#2 I love the spa day idea...and I bet she would love that too. Or at least a massage. And dont forget to bring her home some expensive chocolates when you come back from your trip.

#3 I think boys would do better waiting the extra year but I hear that girls are more mature and can handle stuff earlier. I only have boys so I dont know for sure.

jill jill bo bill said...

1.
2. Is there a close friend or family member that she hasn't seen in a while and would love to spend time with? The BEST gift I ever got was when Rick flew my mom and sister in to stay the weekend. If you plan for them to drive or fly/a special event like a massage for them,a movie and dinner, you kill 2 birds with one stone. She won't be lonely and she will have fun.
3. My girls were all ready (Oct and mar babies). 2 of my boys I held back and never regretted it. EVER. So it depends, do you think she is ready? You know whether she is equal emotionally with her peers or not. If you hold her back, she may be bored stiff and hate school if she is ready to go.

Keri said...

1. Asker
2. Shamwow
3. I don't have any worthy insight or advice to make your deison making any easier. Useless, I know.

Kristina P. said...

I totally agree with the spa day. SHe will love your forever. My husband can never go wrong with that.

And just think! She can wear a Snuggie while getting a pedicure or a massage, etc!

Sera said...

Ok, now that I hit the comment button I can't see the post, so let's see if I can remember. Ok, computer name - I can't think of anything right now on that one. Keyara? As in computer keys? See, totally corny...Sorry - just not feeling uber creative. Wife's birthday - I, too, am girly and cannot have diamonds for my birthday (even though I would LOVE that). Honestly, if I could have anything I wanted, I would ask for either a spa pedicure, spa facial, or a massage. There's nothing I would appreciate more. And not at a cheapy place in the mall. I'm talking at a NICE, relaxing spa. So, I'm thinking like minimum $50-$75. Is that far enough away from the diamond case for ya? And now for the May birthday issue. My baby girl was born at the end of April, so she'll turn 5 a few months before school starts, and we'll send her that year. She'll be on the younger end of things, but that's okay. I'm a June girl, and I started kindergarten at age 5. I can't help it if the fact that my parents started me in school at age 5 caused me to be the inspiration behind Baby Einstein products. So, there you have it.

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

1. I LOVE naming inanimate objects. I say Trinity, but I'm a Matrix fan.

2. I know tons of people have said this, but I'm also a fan of the spa day. If the two of you don't get to spend tons of time together (who does?) you could always get a couples massage and a babysitter.

3. I was born in Sept and always the youngest in the class. It didn't hurt me at all. (Really. I got scholarships and have a BA and everything. ;) ) My vote is to go for it. My DD is still in preschool, but if she was on the cusp I'd put her in anyway. Whatever you do I know it'll be what's right for you and your fam. :)

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

I'm totally unqualified to answer one or two. Don't ask me why.

As far as number three goes? Personally I think if she's ready to go, she should go. She'll be 5 in May? My middle one is turning five in July and she's going to kindergarten in September. But I really think she's ready. What does your wife think?

Now I was one of those young ones where I started kindergarten at 4 and I didn't turn 5 until November and all my life I never felt like it was a disadvantage.

Girls are just smarter Jay and ready for life and school and all those important things sooner than boys - don't you know that by now?

:-)

P.S. Whatever you guys will decide will be just fine I am certain - cause you guys rock as parents. :-)

Summer said...

Okay, not to sure about number one.

For your wife, a spa day is a good one. Or pay for a dinner with her and her girlfriends with either you or a babysitter to watch the kids.

Lastly, I think with your daughter it's more about her maturity level. Some kids are ready and some need more time. You know your daughter best and if she is ready and excited, by all means, send her!!!

Roxanne Green said...

Computer name? No clue here either. ;-)

Birthday - definitely spa day. Put the gift certificate for it in a nice bouquet of flowers where the card goes.

School - You and your wife know your daughter's maturity level better than any of us. Do YOU think she's ready? Age really has nothing to do with it. I've seen kids start at 4 and do great and I've seen kids start at 5 and not do good. If you're hesitating, make sure it's not because of your experiences but because you don't think she's ready.

GOOD LUCK!!

Young Momma said...

I'm useless on 1 & 2.

I'm kinda useless on the school thing - but not totally. I don't really understand the whole birth month and age things. My son will be 4 before December, which is the only requirement for him to enter preschool this year. Which means he'd be almost 5 when he entered Kindergarden. I've put a lot of thought into it. I have to stay home for another few years because of my youngest son. So, why put him in preschool now?? Why not put him in preschool next year, when he's 4 going on 5 and have him 5 going on six when he goes to preschool??

Anyway - my main reasoning is that I'm home anyway. I kind of homeschool him anyway. And - more importantly. I had to do two years of preschool. My mom was a single mom who had to work full time. So, I went in early and wasn't old enough to go to Kindergarden when I finished the first year. They enrolled me for another year. I was SO over school by the time I hit high school. A LOT of the kids I knew who went into preschool too young or had to redo a young grade (like pre k or k) were so burnt out of school by the time they got to middle school or high school - they either dropped out (me) or only did what they had to pass and get out.

So, I say keep her home as long as you can. Or, in a program that's not quite school... or... where she is... whatever. lol I say keep her out for another year.

Did you follow that? lol!

Beth said...

#1 - You'll want a name that signifies beauty and also strength. Someone who isn't a pushover. Someone who can be ornery if not treated well. Hmmm... Maybe Oprah? No, no. Too predictable. How about Meryl?

#2 - Spa day sounds nice but a bit mundane. Maybe a wine of the month club (each month she gets a bottle of wine from whatever company you use). What are her interests (besides the family)? Let that guide you in your choice.

#3 - Definately send her. Girls are usually ready before Daddys are.

Deb said...

comp: i always liked the name sophia. smart, sophisticated, international... good for a computer.

gift: i, personally, would go for the jewels. charm bracelet?

school: my lord, send her. G is an august birthday and is, in some cases, a FULL YEAR behind his classmates. his immaturity is very apparent, and he does seem to have quite a few friends that are a year behind, but he's doing just fine. i don't wish i had held him back, but i DO wish those type A, competitive parents that held their kids back so they would have some sort of advantage would NOT have. kind of seems like cheating, if you ask me. clearly, there are cases in which the child is not emotionally or developmentally ready. then, you do evaluate and go from there.

Christina said...

1. How about Lappy McLaptop? Ok, so I suck at that too.

2. How about some flowers and a gift certifcate from you to give her a really nice massage when you get back from your trip.

3. Send her. I have a July baby and sent her to kindergarten when she was 5 rather than 6. She loved it and learned alot. It was also an easier transition to school. In K, they ler the kids nap for an hour in the beginning of the year and they slowly phased that out. By 1st grade the kids were used to a full day without a nap. The K teacher fully prepared them for 1st grade and she thrived. I say, send your kiddo.

Under the Influence said...

1. Bessie

2. Spa day, but I also like the purse idea.

3. My oldest is a May birthday and we sent him. He was ready - socially and academically - and he has done great. He's in 6th grade now. If your daughter is ready, I would send her. We would have held him if there was a reason, but there wasn't. Remember if you do hold her, she will be 19 when she graduates and that can cause other issues (people thinking she failed a grade, etc.).

Christina said...

I faced the issue of enrolling my son in Kindergarten at the ripe young age of four (he turned 5 in September)or waiting until the next year. We chose let him go that first year...what's the worst that could happen, he be held back and have to repeat Kindergarten? Luckily, my son excelled and has been a fantastic student all through Elementary school. He will be going off to Middle School in the fall. I on the other hand was held back a year, and was always the oldest kid in my class. I hated it!! Good Luck making this decision. As long as y'all are happy with your choices, that's all that counts!

Robyn said...

1. Are you SURE the computer is a girl? Did you flip it over and check it/her out? Either way, no idea.

2. Get your wife a babysitter and make plans with a couple of her friends to go out to dinner. And YOU pay for the dinner. A night out with the girls (since you're not around) is what EVERY mother needs.

3. I was the youngest in my class and it NEVER bothered me until senior year when everyone was driving except for me. But, my parents were cool with that. If she is socially ready, go for it.

Colleen said...

Nothing to really help with #1&2...I am not a girly girl.
as for #3--I was a May baby. I went to kindergarten at age 5 and 1st grade at age 6. I did just fine.

ALso, I gave you an award at my blog...check it out.

Lacey said...

1. Ace. Er... Eeeeeee! I know, I know, it's almost TOO creative.

2. I choose spa day!

3. Send her now! I think girls mature faster than boys, and the only reason I can think of for waiting would be sports. If she seems like she's ready emotionally, send her! :D

Jillene said...

For #1--I am no help.

For #2--Check out my sidebar and click over to my friend Annette's new jewelry business. The pieces are rustic and beautiful and best of all--not expensive!!

For #3--It is all up to you as parents. If she seems ready then do it, if not keep her back.

Beauty of Expression said...

#1- A nice name for an Acer Eee might be Ashlee..If you are unsure of a name...just wait and one day it will Dawn on you...Trinity was cool too though!

#2- Spa day seems to be a big hit. If it was me I would love a small inexpensive piece of jewelery tied on a ribbon to a small teddy bear. And.. a spa certificate, in a simple but beautiful bouquet of Carnations and roses. I know that sounds like a lot of work...but you putting time into something for her says " You love her" and she is special...being thoughtful about what you give, and how you give it is as important as the gift.

#3- If she seems ready then go for it. I know it is hard as a parent to let the little ones start out away from you...but see how she does. It is better to lift her up and give her the opportunity to show her potential. Kindergarten is pretty easy if I remember correctly..lol..and as she goes if they feel she could benefit from being held back the teachers will see it. I think she will be fine...go for it Daddy!

Momisodes said...

#1- G-Spot

#2- If you're ixnaying jewels...I've got nothing. But I nearly lost it when I read Keri's reply - ShamWow.

#3- Our daughter will be facing a similar dilemma. The Kindergarten cut off date for kids to turn 5 here is ON my daughter's birthday. She will always be the youngest. So we'll need to choose. We don't think we will hold her back. At least for now. My birthday was near the cut off as well, and I was held back.

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

I started school early, and hated being the youngest, but as far as intellect-wise, I was on target. Holding back, especially if she's smart as a whip, would hinder her more than help her. My 9 year old son would be in 4th grade if we still lived in NY. The cut off is different, here, and so he's in 3rd. He is the smartest in his class, and often bored and gets into trouble. I feel like I've failed him because of this (although I know I haven't), but still... so I say, enroll!

Btw, LMAO at sleeved blankets. Seriously.. what brainchild thought that was a good idea!? Really!?

Mariah said...

#3 I'd say put her in, you can always do Kindergarten twice. I think it's an advantage to be one of the older kids.

#2 A vibrating adult toy for her to take on her trip or, if she has time on her trip maybe you can research the area and get her a massage certificate there or one at home for when she returns.

angie said...

My 3 oldest kids are January birthdays, so they are on the older side in class, and that makes me happy. I think socially and developmentally they are just more ready for school. My twins are November which means they *could* be the youngest in their class, but I'm not sending them until the following year. A May birthay is a hard one though.......I'd give it a little more time and see if she seems ready closer to Kindergarten registration.

Now, on to your wifes birthday. I think spa certificates are great. But, I don't like to go alone....does she have a good girl friend that you could arrange to go with her?

What about just an afternoon all to herself with cash in hand? That would be my favorite. :)

Twisted Silver has some really great, unique costume jewelry pieces........

Average Girl In Average World said...

#1 - .....Bertha? LOL
#2 - Spa treatment sounds nice
#3 - I agree with putting the child in school when they are first allowed to enter.

The Mom said...

with #3 having been a K/1 teacher I say send her. Unless you feel she is very very young for her age or has any learning challenges, otherwise let her go. My daughter is a November baby and will graduate at 17, but she was ready to start and girls are by far more mature at that age. ;)

Brooks said...

B-day present~ buy a blank canvas at Michaels (craft store), write a mom poem on it and have your childen fingerpaint their handprints on it! easy, cheap and only a little messy! It will be straight from the heart and any mom would love it.
As for school, around here kids have to be 5 by August 1st to get into k, so thats what we do. I wish that they could go at age 3, but whatever.

Sheri and George said...

#1- I like Lola- kinda naughty sounding

#2 Offer to babysit your daughter and pay for a day out for her and her sibling or friend. Lunch or dinner and a show.

#3 I was the youngest and so was my daughter- didn't cause any problems until we got older and everyone was getting their drivers license except us. Really- she's probably ready to go so let her.

Aria said...

#1... Don't know, all my vehicles wind up being named Jezebel...

#2 Cheesecake and romance the night before... Real romance, candles, run the tub, the whole whammy ~ not just Jay wants to get laid romantic... which, if you do it right, you totally will...

#3. Put her in early. She will so thank you for it later.

ps. I've got links to buy cheesecake in my latest post *wink wink* and they deliver.

Jenni Jiggety said...

I think you should name your laptop Jenni, of course!

I think your wife would like maybe a nice spa gift certificate, some pretty earrings that dangle, and you should make her a mix tape of meaningful love songs...only on CD because who even has a tape player anymore.

And I think your daughter will be good to go for K!

Lee said...

You should get her a spa day.
That way she's occupied the whole time that she's gone, and she's relaxed and pampered.
I think anyone would be happy with a spa day.

Briony said...

1. I'd name her dolly.
2. I'm new to your blog so I don't know many things about you or your beautiful wife but I think every woman loves a good massage or a lovely night out dancing (real dancing, not that bumping and grinding crap)
3. I'm not yet a parent but I think if a child is given an environment that encourages them to discover things on their own and makes learning exciting it doesn't matter if they are older or younger...with the right learning environment at school and the right learning environment at home, most children will be able to excel and will find a way to adjust to the differences between them and their classmates.

I'm visiting from Tabitha @ freshmommy. Love your blog!

Briony

jsprik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jsprik said...

1. Lola, don't know why but that's what first came to mind.

2. i agree with deb, charm bracelet or maybe a chain and pendant n her birthstone??!!

3. they only stay little for a short time. i would not be in a big rush to push her out into the world!! we taught both our kids to read and count and colors and all that at home before kindergarten.

Sometimes Sophia said...

Firstly, I'm assuming that since the computer is an extension of you, it is male. Therefore, an appropriate name would be Phoebus (as in Phoebus Apollo) because 1) you bring us so much sunshine,2) it sounds alot like serial bus (not to be confused with cereal bus) and 3) the fee part could be in your favor. (Fee for you, fee for all...)

Next: get your wife a custom blended fragrance. If you've got guts, design it yourself. Otherwise a trip to a purveyer of such could be part of the deal. Check out http://www.neilmorrisfragrances.com/custom_fragrances.html
(Somehow I get the sense that you are in Massachusetts, the above is in Boston)

http://www.scentdesign.net/ or the like.

Thirdly: Definitely hold off on kindergarten. No matter how bright, socially it will be easier for her if she is older.

Carrin said...

Since you are leaving on her birthday, I would suggest hiring a babysitter for the day and setting up a spa day for her while you are gone!

Tabitha Blue said...

Hmmm.... is her birthday near Valentine's Day?? You could get her a sexy photoshoot.

The Frugal Angel-Guided Psychic said...

#3. I would ask the teachers that work in the school you are sending your kiddos to. In our school system it is "highly suggested" that we hold all boys with summer or spring birthdays. Many of the teachers hold their kiddos back! One boy in my son's class has a Feb. birthday and seems perfectly healthy, quite healthy in fact(**cough, cough** sports, cough**) And, guess what?... He's a teachers kiddo! Anyway, work with your school and child and then you'll know.

All the Best!

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Really, the only people capable of making the best decision on what to do with your girl are her parents. You know her best. My daughter is April 27 and I'm considering holding her back. The reasons are because she tends to be on the shy side and I've seen her intimidated by younger kids on the playground. I've tried to get her to open up and she's doing better (school has helped a lot). She's an only child and she's been going since she was 2 yo. She finally detaches herself from my leg at birthday parties but it's been 2 years, no kidding. It takes her longer to learn and do certain things that her classmates that have October and November birthdays and I don't see in the sense of why she should have to struggle. To me, it makes learning all the more frustrating and then a turn-off. We will be probably holding her back. I say probably because if we do, it will be Kinder. Because that's where they learn to read and they have the sight words. She'll start Kinder in Sept and if she does fine, then we'll let her go on to 1st grade. If your daughter has had no formal schooling, maybe you should try it and see how she does. You can always hold her back at the end of the year if you AND the teacher feel that would be best for her. That way you will also have an assesment from a professional that knows her.

just a girl... said...

#2 I would get her a day at the spa

Sarahlcc said...

I'm happy with a stuffed animal and flowers (delivered) when he's gone on my birthday. There's just something about opening the door and getting a vase of flowers & stuffed animal.

Metamor4sis.com said...

#2 - get some flowers sent to her in your absence. Separately arrange for another delivery - say chocs? Shows her that you thought of her even while preparing to go away. Then of course, make sure you call.

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson