Deb over at DirtySocksandPizza is in the process of pulling a winner for MISSION: Monday...go see who won...
And then come back and behold...The Suburban Fotie.
During these tough economic times, we should all be looking out for one another. Today, I introduce you to Oak Leaf Merlot, from the slightly liberal but always beautiful state of Northern KAH-LEE-FO-NYA.
What makes this wine so special, you might ask? Why should I break away from my Clos-du-Bois, my Menage-a Trois, or my Mad Dog 20 20? Why should I put stock in any wine that you claim to be entirely drinkable and even downright pleasant?
Don't take it from me, take it from Frickin' Sam Walton himself.
That's right, my skeptical friends...read it and weep.
As in, twofrickineightyeight, yo. As in, I felt ridiculous pouring it in anything but a paper cup, but I dressed the pig anyway.
Don't believe me. Pay $14 a bottle for your preferred label. OR...you COULD pull a switcheroo with your regular swill, and see if your hubby can even tell the diff. Watch his face light up when you tell him the price. And then build a small shrine in the corner of your dining room to a guy you have never met, and who didn't steer you wrong.
And finally, to my non-imbibing friends, I know this may not appeal to you. Fortunately, soon enough there will be a national, government run healthcare plan that will enable me to quit my job and accept the free healthcare paid for by hard working honest and sober Americans like yourselves. Free healthcare that will be IN ADDITION to the ALREADY FREE healthcare that the underprivileged in our country enjoy. Thanks for looking out for me...it was killing me having to get up and go to work everyday to pay for my own healthcare coverage. When the Vodka and Oak Leaf turn my umbrella-sized liver that final shade of magenta, I will be so grateful that I didn't have to pay for my own medical costs. Not to mention I have LOVED how our China-sized government bureaucracy has run Social Security, Medicare, and the Welfare system. Can't WAIT for them to get their grubby paws on healthcare.
And before you softies fire off a nasty comment, know this: I LIKE Obama. I didn't vote for him, but I LIKE him, and I HOPE for him. At the same time, I simply don't agree with some of his solutions for our country. (And to be further fair, I don't agree with a bunch of the Republican agenda either) But one thing is for sure...if it wasn't enough for our taxes to cover county hospitals before, now we may get to pay even MORE to insure the uninsured. Make me a believer, President-Elect Obama. If you are going to create another national entitlement program to go with our current list of failed/ing national entitlement programs, make us one that WORKS, and that we can be proud of.
Until then, my plan is to quit work, buy cheap wine, and enjoy the good life.
With the money I am gonna be saving on alcohol and x-rays, I should have enough for a rockin' funeral.
"Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"--Jonathan Swift