You may have noticed at some time the link at the top of my blog that says "Challenge Jay"...it is a place for you to ask me questions that plague you, or simply tee one up for me to hit out of the park. Today I am catching up on two new questions, and if you are interested in asking one, please feel free to Challenge Me!
"Where did you grow up and what childhood trauma gave you your quick wit?"
Whether or not Kristin actually knows it, I do believe that humor is born mostly from pain. And I won't turn this into a pity party, but my "quick wit", as you put it, comes from many years of emotional and physical abuse. Oh who am I kidding...I learned to be funny because I couldn't get a girl with my looks. I got them into the sack by making them laugh, and then when I got them there, they laughed harder. Hence, more emotional abuse, ergo, I got funnier. Date night with my wife is coming up this week, and I plan to be even funnier at the end of the evening. BTW, I was born in Canada...and if that isn't funny, I don't know what is.
and Anonymous asked:
Jay, I need a guy's view on this. My husband and I were shopping at Costco. I noticed him staring at a tall, thin brunette (I am short and blonde). I did not say anything. As we were leaving and walking thru the parking lot, she was loading the back of her SUV. Again he was staring at her and not paying attention and ran over me with the cart! I then said if he had not been staring at some other woman he might not crash the Costco cart into his spouse! He denied staring at her (LAME!), and that was the end of it. It has really been bothering me since. Am I being hyper-sensitive? I know he loves me. I want a man's point of view, even if it may sting a bit. Thanks!
She was loading her SUV? That's Hot.
Oh, my dear sweet...Anonymous. You're just jumping right to the heart of the matter, aren't you? Well, bless your heart for asking, and sorry you had to, but let's do this. (And hold on to something to protect you from the angry comment flood rumbling towards us at the end)
Men are pigs. No real shock there. But I ask you all to think about what I just said. We may be metaphorically "pig-like" but we are actually wired differently than you. This will be important...stay with me.
Much like our beautiful and sensitive female counterparts, men are all different...physically and emotionally. But one thing that the vast majority of men have in common is our urge to "procreate"...and not just with one woman.
I know...again, hear me out.
Men think about attraction and sex far differently than women...but for one gender to tell the other what is right and that the other is wrong is lunacy. Men think about sex constantly, as in several thousand times a day, women don't. Men think about the physical act, and physical components, women think more in terms of the emotional element of the transaction.
Now, remember, I am not speaking for EVERY man or EVERY woman, so don't get all up in arms about that aspect...but the reality is that the male wiring has us thinking about it all...the...freaking...time. And you have to ask yourself, am I judging a man for something that is as embedded in his DNA as his hair and eye color? Or do you simply believe that everything done is by CHOICE alone? If you believe the latter, then you have to ask yourself, "How in the hell can I assume to know how a man thinks?" And don't forget to ask yourself, "Why do I think that I am simply right, and he is wrong? Right according to whom? ME? The Woman?" Do we males fully understand or appreciate how a woman is wired? We can't...to me, it's just that simple.
Before any of you think I am simply trying to bail out with the wiring issue, let's address the REAL factor to consider.
You see, I am also an offender. I have male-wiring, and I am visually motivated...like many men. But you have to take all men and put them into two groups... men who can, and men who can't. Cheat, that is. I can be a flirt, we know this. My wife knows this. But hopefully she also knows that I fall into the category of can't, and she never has anything to worry about. But I have still managed to offend and hurt her with my "wiring" at times, as I see a pretty girl, or particular physical features I may be visually motivated by, and I have had to learn some respect.
Anonymous, you are normal to feel hurt, you are normal to be offended. You are wired to want more respect than is being shown you.
And if you are asking my advice, here it is.
If you sit next to a dog and think, "Why does he sit there with his tongue hanging out? Doesn't he know it's rude?" Well, the dog doesn't know it's rude, but we know that what we do hurts you. Tell him. Simply tell him that you know he has urges, and that he is a slave to his uncontrollable visual cortex and libido, but ask him to respect you the way that you are inadvertently respecting him by not staring at every butt, chest and package on the DILFs at the community pool. Just understand that you love him for the same set of wiring that is currently pissing you off. Asking him to turn off these urges is like asking the person who suffers from depression to "snap out of it". Pity him for being a flawed male, AND ask him to show you more respect. You are his wife and the mother of his children...you have earned the respect you seek.
And if you are married to a cheater, I sure hope you dump his ass.
OK...open the flood gates!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
posthumous pointerTo laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson