Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Twitter is a Two Dollar Whore.


And I am her Crackhead Pimp.

Twitter is the dumbest concept yet.

Giving people only 140 characters to give the masses a short status update like "I am the worst parent in the world", or "My worthless husband just killed the toilet". Or my personal favorite, "Mmmm...Donuts".

Like you give a crap whether I am driving, or eating, or worse.

Sigh.

And yet, I am addicted to this Literary Lolita like she is covered in blow.

Maybe it's not Twitter I am addicted to...maybe it's you.

Am I following you yet? Maybe you wouldn't mind going here to follow, so I can follow you right back?

And while you're doing that, I'll be in search of a good vein...they are getting a tad difficult to find. (And thank you Em, for Tweeting sound advice about using the space between your toes...I owe you a clean needle.)

And yes, this has been a Tribute...to a scab-covered prostitute named Twitter.

Ah cain't quit youuuuu!!

Go see my friend Angie for more Tributes today!!
Tuesday's Tribute





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15 comments:

Claremont First Ward said...

Sound advice from Em. :)

I'm still on the fence about Twitter. I have a hard time throwing 140 character thoughts out there. Randomly.

Ash said...

Absolutely no problem - hell yeah, you owe me.

Have you found yourself now writing really short e-mails?

Kim said...

I'm on Twitter (and following you) but I'm still not sure I have the hang of it or am using it "properly".

Tenakim said...

this is an oldie but goodie... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALbH63Ali9U

Samantha said...

oh man, jay! You kill me!

Jillene said...

I don't Twitter. Matter of fact--I am not even sure exactly what it is. I blog and do Facebook and that is PLEANTY for me!!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha!

I'll admit it, I don't Twitter. Wanna know why? Sure you do. Because I don't think there's anyone out there as interesting as I am so why would I give a crap what they're doing? True story. lol.

Just kidding. Sort of. The real reason is that I am faaaaaaar too longwinded to be able to cope with a 140 character limit.

Ally Wasmund said...

Love it! ha ha

kisatrtle said...

I'm following you, have been for awhile. R u following me? Who knows. For those of us under twitter's spell, there is no escape. LOL

Danyele Easterhaus said...

i'm pimping along with you, i guess...and that just doesn't seem right. anyway, i love your tweets!

Liz Mays said...

Twitter puffs up our self-importance. We think people care what we say but they don't. They just want someone to talk to so they can puff up their OWN self-importance.

Lee said...

I gave up on Twitter.
I have one, but I use it to enter giveaways.
I don't have the patience to keep up with it.

Unknown said...

I completely understand. I can't quit her either! I think between the fingers works too.

Jenni said...

Twitter and I...we have a love/hate things going on.

We're on "a break" right now...

Nishant said...

Matter of fact--I am not even sure exactly what it is. I blog and do Facebook


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posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson