Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Twitter is a Two Dollar Whore.


And I am her Crackhead Pimp.

Twitter is the dumbest concept yet.

Giving people only 140 characters to give the masses a short status update like "I am the worst parent in the world", or "My worthless husband just killed the toilet". Or my personal favorite, "Mmmm...Donuts".

Like you give a crap whether I am driving, or eating, or worse.

Sigh.

And yet, I am addicted to this Literary Lolita like she is covered in blow.

Maybe it's not Twitter I am addicted to...maybe it's you.

Am I following you yet? Maybe you wouldn't mind going here to follow, so I can follow you right back?

And while you're doing that, I'll be in search of a good vein...they are getting a tad difficult to find. (And thank you Em, for Tweeting sound advice about using the space between your toes...I owe you a clean needle.)

And yes, this has been a Tribute...to a scab-covered prostitute named Twitter.

Ah cain't quit youuuuu!!

Go see my friend Angie for more Tributes today!!
Tuesday's Tribute





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17 comments:

angie said...

Sound advice from Em. :)

I'm still on the fence about Twitter. I have a hard time throwing 140 character thoughts out there. Randomly.

Em said...

Absolutely no problem - hell yeah, you owe me.

Have you found yourself now writing really short e-mails?

Under the Influence said...

I'm on Twitter (and following you) but I'm still not sure I have the hang of it or am using it "properly".

Tenakim said...

this is an oldie but goodie... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALbH63Ali9U

Samantha said...

oh man, jay! You kill me!

Jillene said...

I don't Twitter. Matter of fact--I am not even sure exactly what it is. I blog and do Facebook and that is PLEANTY for me!!

MamabearMills said...

some whores can't live without it. i think you're one of them.

marybt said...

hahahaha!

I'll admit it, I don't Twitter. Wanna know why? Sure you do. Because I don't think there's anyone out there as interesting as I am so why would I give a crap what they're doing? True story. lol.

Just kidding. Sort of. The real reason is that I am faaaaaaar too longwinded to be able to cope with a 140 character limit.

Allyson said...

Love it! ha ha

kisatrtle said...

I'm following you, have been for awhile. R u following me? Who knows. For those of us under twitter's spell, there is no escape. LOL

Elaine A. said...

You know you lover her, the whore that she is. And you're fun to follow! : )

mommaof4wife2r said...

i'm pimping along with you, i guess...and that just doesn't seem right. anyway, i love your tweets!

blueviolet said...

Twitter puffs up our self-importance. We think people care what we say but they don't. They just want someone to talk to so they can puff up their OWN self-importance.

Lee said...

I gave up on Twitter.
I have one, but I use it to enter giveaways.
I don't have the patience to keep up with it.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

I completely understand. I can't quit her either! I think between the fingers works too.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Twitter and I...we have a love/hate things going on.

We're on "a break" right now...

Nishant said...

Matter of fact--I am not even sure exactly what it is. I blog and do Facebook


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posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson