Sunday, September 28, 2008

My most intimate fantasies are deep fried.


Nannette at GirlFriday (I love her blog!!) submitted the following question: "What is your biggest, most secreted guilty pleasure?" Thanks to Nannette for playing Stump the Moron...If you have a question you would like to ask Jay, submit it here.

In the interest of keeping this an NC-17 blog, my deepest desires and guiltiest pleasures have always been food related...essentially, if you were a woman who was interested in me at all, you simply had to do little more than take one of your shoes, batter it, drop it in the deep frier, and ask, "Are you man enough?"

And I was.

I am a fiend for deep fried anything...I would like to be buried with a bucket of KFC in a dumpster in the back of KFC, with pall bearers gainfully employed by, you guessed it, the local KFC.

And if I somehow avoid hell, I have to believe that the only other option available to me is the Texas State Fair, or as my medical wife likes to call it, "Triage". This year, they have a bevy of delicacies awaiting me including "Deep Fried Coke", "Chicken Fried Bacon", and another that defies comprehension, "Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Waffle Balls".

I am here to tell you, if I one day can stomach the smell of burnt hair, I will be seen hobbling into the Texas-OU game with my once in a lifetime indulgence, "Jay's Chicken Fried Strawberry Marinated Thigh 'O Plenty"...with chocolate dipping sauce.

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16 comments:

Eternal Sunshine said...

I've been dreaming about the Chicken Fried Bacon since at least a month before the Fair began.

I'm going to have to make a trip just for that.

Luanne said...

Deep fried coke?? Please explain...
but I will admit it sounds delicious and I would love to try it!! Send it my way!

I also like fried anything...and sweet anything...but my ultimate is chocolate mousse. So far my favorite ever was at the French restaurant in EPCOT at Disney World. Second place mousse at Bistro 110 in downtown Chicage...a close second. Yummm...drooling just thinking about it :)

amelia bedelia said...

mmmmmm...fried stuff. (I used my Homer Simpson voice)

Jenn P. said...

Great post! I am a sucker for anything fried too. I am not so sure about the deep fried coke though, however, it could be good for all I know. I am going to have to try a fried Mars Bar next time I go to England though, I hear that they are sooooo good!

Beadiful Things said...

One word: oliebollen.

Emiline said...

Yay! I love fried stuff.

I LOVE your burial idea. Why didn't I think of that?

Do you like funnel cakes? Mmm.

heartacheorheartburn said...

Deep fried anything is good. I completely agree with you. I haven't ever had fried coke or fried pickles or most of the unusual fried foods. I am totally game though. I just need a fair to come to town!

Brittany said...

The only thing missing from this post is that it is not fried. Yuuuuuummmmmmm.

Momisodes said...

You. are. HILARIOUS :)

And your wife- Triage? Please allow me to send her a high five!

I must say though, deep fried coke has me very intrigued. It sounds right up my alley.

Kristina P. said...

Wow, I can't believe I actually had a guy comment on my blog, other than my jerk coworker!

I love to read men's blogs. And seriously, I would hook up a deep fried IV into my veins.

Jenni Jiggety said...

You know, I think deep fried Coke might actually sound delicious...

Girl Friday said...

Thanks for the props and thanks for answering! Very interesting.....

Wendyburd1 said...

Seriously...how do they deep fry coke? I mean at the Big E, New England's largest fair, they had fried Oreo's and Twinkies *holding her gag reflex*, but coke?? Really?

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

You had chicken fried bacon? Was it awesome? Did they dip it in butter afterward? Paula Dean would have dipped it in butter.

I'm rather fond of deep fried twinkies but have failed to find them available at any of the fairs I have been to so far this year. Lots of funnel cake though.

Rachel said...

Lol -- and that's why I love the Houston Rodeo. A Treasure-Trove of all things Fried.

Darrin said...

Dude.. are you channeling me? I'm the same way!! I used to have a food blog called "Dad's Dish" where you could find anything from reviews on 20+ ounce burgers, to deep fried coke.

But alas... once I started eating better and ventured into personal blogging, my readers left in droves.. hence the new blog.

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson