Last year I got pulled over for speeding. In an effort to return some sanity to the house one afternoon, I had taken my daughter for a brief outing, and was pulled over on a side street I never used for going 40 in a 30. I begged and pleaded with the officer, tried to describe the situation at home that day, told him what happens to people in my profession if they get speeding tickets, preyed on his sense of fatherhood and humanity.
He returned to my car with my ticket. $200 bucks, pal. Next time slow down.
This morning, my wife left for work in a hurry, in the dark, the same way she has for 10 years. As she blasted down the street doing 54 in a 40 trying to figure out how to defog her windshield, she was pulled over by the city’s finest. When asked if she knew how fast she was going, she replied, “No, I was too busy trying to unfog my windshield.”
And then it happened.
“Well, that’s ok ma’am, because I don’t give tickets to nurses.”
Now. Am I pissed because we just saved $200 and a trip to court to seek out deferred adjudication…AGAIN? No.
Am I pissed because she gets away with it and I cant? Maybe.
Am I pissed because Johnny Law gets to use his badge to flirt with my wife? ABSOLUTELY. I know it’s gonna sound pathetic, but I would have RATHER she got the ticket, and feel like the guy had done his job properly.
And finally, the person I am most pissed at is…me. Last year I voted to pay for more police in our city. So essentially, I handed that guy a twenty, and asked him to hit on my wife.
I want my vote back.
Carrot Juice Mimosas
2 days ago