Saturday, March 7, 2009

An exerpt from our bed.


This is what happens when a hyper-sarcastic BS artist marries a nurse. From time to time I will try to share some of our bedroom banter, as it tends to defy all laws of space, time, and common sense.

7:30am, our bed.

Nurse: OMG I slept so bad. I was so hot, I had to get up and turn on the air.

Moron: (looks up to see the fan turning) You mean the fan?

Nurse: Whatever. (We'll cover word selection in a coming post)

Moron: I slept like ass too...late night pizza always means nightmares.

Nurse: What did you dream about?

Moron: Not a dream, a nightmare.

Nurse: About what?

Moron: About me having neuroblastoma.

Nurse: Oh.

(silence)

Nurse: What were your symptoms?

Moron: Um, just one symptom. That the doctor told me I had neuroblastoma.

Nurse: Oh. Ok.


I'm pretty sure we're the sexiest couple I know.

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38 comments:

Jenni Jiggety said...

That was HAWT... :::fans self:::

Luanne said...

Funny! About as interesting as our bedtime conversations too!

Deb said...

we don't even speak in the bedroom. no form of communication whatsoever until after the first cup of coffee.

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

LOL. A certain someone around this crib is pre, pari whatever, menopausal so it is 34 outside and the freaking deck door is open at night so she can fight the hot flashes. I snuggle next to the fireplace for fear of frostbite.I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the reply "whatever". One our homes most used phrases. Time for bike ride.

Sharlene said...

Yep, I think we could give you a run for your money on sexiest couple. Our bedroom banter is incredibly similar. But I am with Deb- no morning banter until coffee please. Its bad enough I have to talk to the kids...

Under the Influence said...

Pillow talk at its best!

Mary Moore said...

*fanning myself* That is the best porn I've heard in a long time.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

If I had known (or remembered) you were married to a nurse, I'd have had more respect for you from the beginning.

Hawt post. Sounds like my house. My hubby has nightmares that his teeth fall out.

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

At least you guys talk in the bedroom. Most couples dont!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

wOW... you really rock the pillow talk huh?

{{fanning myself}}} from all the hotness!

Natalie said...

That was so hawt, I think I'm gonna go take a cold shower..

Sounds as steamy as what goes on in our bedroom every night.

Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...

Well see, my Hubby is a hypochondriac so we have these types of bedtime discussions... he will say " tonights the big one... might crap out tonight" almost weekly! Too friggin hilarious

texasholly said...

HAWT.

Are you sure you had your symptoms right?

Joeprah said...

Man, that is hot! LOL!

The Mom Jen said...

My contest can really help that bedroom conversation! http://www.themomreviews.com/2009/03/eden-fantasys-giveaway.html

;)

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

haha, yes, you guys are so like us. I talked about bringing sexy back with coupons the other day. Yeah, I said it. COUPONS. Hot, huh?

mommaof4wife2r said...

ya'all are nuts! so funny...kinda reminds me of this house, but we have two engineers that can over anaylyze a string.

Missy said...

You've got it going on!

Bee and Rose said...

There's a porn in there somewhere because that is some hot bedroom drama...

Sera said...

That's so funny! I've got more posts of your to get caught up on - I haven't had much time to read my favorite blogs lately. :(

Alicia said...

You are so funny!!

Summer said...

Were you wearing socks? Because you know what socks mean...

Just some guy talk and stuff.

Brittany said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Whatevs, medical terminology is ALWAYS a turn on in our bedroom!

Metamor4sis.com said...

ROFL!

Jenners said...

Oooooh...I love me some witty sexy bedroom talk! Grrrrrrrrr.....

And I have the same problem with "word substitution" as your wife -- "AC" when I meant fan, "trash" when I meant "disposer," "I love you" when I meant "You bother the hell out of me." It is a problem.

Liz said...

I came over from my friend, Ally @ Waiting for Rain! I LOVE this post, so familiar! LOL! I will be back.
I had no idea there were so many Dallas bloggers...well, how would I? :)
Great blog!

Samantha said...

Definitly not the sexiest conversation to be had... But its funny how your thoughts throughout the day make their way into your dreams.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

sexiest morning bedroom words ever:

"coffee" (as in "here my darling is a giant mug of industrial strength caffiene just for you")

sheila said...

That was an awesome post! My hubby has the same pet name! (well, that and 'jackass') lol. Love the dog in the bed

Fiona said...

lol! I'm not sure it gets much more racy in my bedroom!

Robin Costello (Delswife) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robin Costello (Delswife) said...

LOL. Great symptoms.

Awesome of you to shave your head too. Big thumbs up!

CaJoh said...

Not that we have anything that is sacred, but I always pause when I want to discuss those things we laugh about in bed— mostly because we both are punchy and come up with the strangest things. So, I'm with you and fully understand the conversation.

jsprik said...

dude, i hope thats a dog between you...if not one of you has a major problem!! lol
btw that post was sexy as hell!! ;)

Lee said...

Jesus that seriously made me laugh.
"Um, just one symptom. The doctor told me I had neuroblastoma."

Classic.

Wep said...

Sounds like the conversations we have. Last night his leg was in the way, and I couldn't see Family Guy for the 10th time. So I sprayed him with the water bottle I save for the puppy.

Brenda Jean said...

OMG that sounds like something my husband and I would talk about. He has this thing-- and don't let your wife read this is he doesn't already do it-- where every little pain or pimple he will tell me it's such and such a disease. I will simply an example: "Oh man, I have a headache, it must be a brain tumor". Then he'll laugh and laugh. At least you are fairly familiar with medical jargon. BAHAHAHAHA

Kara said...

Thank you, that was so funny!

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson