Monday, June 22, 2009

Tuesday's Tribute - Target Angel of Death.


I need to learn how to read the signs better.

When you're about to leave for an important meeting, it is NOT the time to go ask someone to bend your glasses.

When you walk in to make this mistake with your glasses ANYWAY, and the lady who comes up to help is the same Angel of Death you almost strangled last time,

and when you don't run from her, and allow her to take said glasses to her contraption of doom without even looking at how they currently sit on your face,

and when you try to inform the back of her head that the glasses are crooked because your ears are as well, and that they simply need a slight adjustment...

and finally she says over her shoulder "I hope you don't need these today".

That's then the Angel of Death plunges her trident into your ignorant soul, and further informs you that your favorite frames are no longer stocked.

Target giveth, and Target taketh away.

Eat it, Target Angel. Tuck into a big steaming pile of it. I will be cursing you all week as I blindly fumble through my own powerpoint presentation entitled, "How to keep your job despite the trident in your ass."



Tuesday's Tribute





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18 comments:

Candice said...

Brent has a couple of old man gold frame glasses that are sure to make you look like a creepy child molester, if you would like to borrow them.

let me know.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Hey! Are you writing this post from the future? Maybe you can go back in the DeLorean and stop the Target wench from ruining your frames!

Always Helpful,

Jenni Jiggety

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Aw Jay....sorry to hear about your glasses. I sure hope you learned a lesson....and to walk away next time you see her.

kisatrtle said...

Jay...I have missed you! So glad your tribute wasn't all peaches and cream. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only with a bitch of the week.

Hope you get your specs back soon.

Em said...

I think I need some glasses myself - didn't you just have another post up?

I can't keep up with you.

I'll now have a moment of silence for "the" glasses, seriously they rocked...

Beth said...

I've been on a Target ban since the beginning of January. They said they didn't need my business and now my business has gone somewhere else.

It took 4 months for the shaking from the Target addiction to stop. But it is all good now.

And when did Target start selling glasses? I am really missing out in the Target world.

Annie said...

That really blows.
THAT REALLY BLOWS.
There, I changed to large print so you can read it.

Bee and Rose said...

Target employs many from Satan's domain, I've noticed lately...That sucks major, my near blind friend...

CaJoh said...

I found that when I got a pair of glasses so that our grandson wouldn't break them, I also found out that my wife got the same type. We couldn't tell them apart except for the color.

angie said...

Um. That sucks. Before I had Lasik I wore my glasses with one arm missing for 2 weeks. It was weird. :)

blueviolet said...

If it was Target then it was affordable, so next time buy two and stick one up there with the trident for later.

Amy said...

They say duck tape fixes everything Right???

Straight to Your Hart said...

Deep breaths...then let me at her..giggling!! Hope you are doing well there Jay:)

Carissa(GoodnCrazy) said...

'Almost' back I see?

Lovely with the glasses and all.. my hubby is so freakish over his glasses he will drive out of his way by hours to find a lenscrafters... and he would DIE 2xover if this happened to him!!

Amy said...

Great tribute!

jsprik said...

hahahahaha.....sry about...hahahahaa....your glasses...hahahahahaha jay!! you are too funny man!! no, really though, that sucks man!

Sharlene said...

Are you back? Please say you are back!

Mariah said...

I miss you Jay!!!! Everyone out there is all nice and sweet in their posts...WE NEED MORE JAY!!!!

Oh yeah. Sucks about your glasses.

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson