Tuesday, June 30, 2009

255.


I built a blog. I built it fast and furious, and spent a pile of hours, money and energy trying to keep it growing.

Every day was consumed with ideas for growth, transactional commenting, focusing posts on what would draw people rather than what I really wanted to say.

I built it with the excitement and fervor that I put into everything initially, and then it only took a couple of events to push me away from it.

Now some, including my wife, would call that ADD. Hell, I have called it that myself.

But the past few months have taught me something else that has been slapping me on the back of the head for a very long time, and I've been ignoring the hand.

I have a life out of balance.

I recently went on an outing with my daughter. We went to do something that she wanted, that it was uncommon for a Daddy to attend, and we spent the whole day, just her and I. And she has talked about it every day since.

And I realized I have a life out of balance.

I've been working hard. At work, at home, at my life. I'm simply trying harder. At everything. Trying to be a better Dad. Trying to be a better husband. A better employee. For as much as I have tried to paint the picture of the humble father who is fully in attendance in his life, I have growing room still. A lot.

So I am back to blogging today, but it is going to be different. Because like my daughter and her friend peering into the abyss of a scarcely populated tank and wondering what they are supposed to be looking at, I am seeing things in my life that shouldn't be, and not seeing some things that I should.

Join me in my quest if you wish. I hope to catch up with each of you at some point soon, but give me time. I will be going at this slowly. But know that I think of each of you, and read you often still.
















Thanks again to Angie
for another ragin' Wordful Wednesday..."

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44 comments:

Ally @ Waiting For Rain said...

Hey Friend
Welcome back! I look forward to hearing from you and hope to get back on the proverbial horse too, myself!!

OHmommy said...

"My hobby" of blogging happens at night, when all else is done in real life. When I find time for it. Some people knit to relax, some exercise, I like to read blogs and write.

Welcome back Jay.

Kristina P. said...

I'm glad you're back! And better balanced. It's a hard line to find sometimes.

Nobody's Girl said...

Jay, I must simply say that I LOVE this post. LOVE. IT.

Glad to have you back. Glad to have YOU back.

:)

Crafty Christina said...

Welcome back! Cheers to balance. I've yet to find it myself but its a goal for one day.

You must have done your daughter's hair that day, huh? ;)

Sera said...

This was so well put. And, I think no matter what it is we've got on our plates, we constantly need to be taking a look to get our priorities in check. It's really easy to get out of balance, and I totally commend you for stepping back and making some adjustments. So glad to see you back!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Big, bold, heartfelt post. That's what it's all about. Welcome back!

Shannon said...

Well said! I had stopped paying attention to your blog a couple months ago, and I think you just brought me back in. Hope you have a great new adventure!

Em said...

Like two ships...

Catch up soon. Glad to see the field trip was even more than you expected. Way to go Dad! E

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

welcome back Jay!!
To whatever degree you continue to blog (obsessively or not) I continue to follow...you're just one heck of an interesting guy I guess.
Lovely picture of your daughter and her friend - its amazing what they can see in a murky tank of water isn't it...

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

I almost burst into tears. The last time you posted your blog post count, you announced you were taking a step back. I seriously thought you were doing the saying goodbye. OMG!

*breathing*

I am SO happy you have returned, slow-going or not, I am beyond ecstatic for you.

But you give me something to think about. A life unbalanced. I am going to ponder on that a bit, I think. I do believe mine is unbalanced as well.

By the way - how close are you to Dallas, by chance? Email me, let's talk. I'm gonna be in that area this weekend.

Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility said...

That's sweet...taking a step back is a good thing sometimes!

Alicia said...

Wow..that was nicely written!!!!

Your daughter (and yourself) will be so blessed by this!

Summer said...

Welcome back friend...

Laura said...

I am constantly trying to balance too. Not often succeeding. Can't wait to see what you come up with.

Young Momma said...

I love this post. :) I realized a lot of those same things when I took a break from blogging :) Welcome Back!!!!

angie said...

Ahhhhhhhh...........it's so nice to have you back........finding balance is a hard one.......something I definitely stuggle with as well. Here's to balance, and "seeing" more of you. When you can.

Tonya said...

Jay, That is so well put! There is always room for all of us to do better, especially with our kids since we have such little time with them before they are grown!

Glad to see you are slowly coming back! I love your blog. (-:

Jen said...

oh balance, why are you so hard to achieve?

Jenners said...

I'm happy to read this post. I think the initial allure and fun of blogging can lead everyone to burnout and a reassessment of why they are doing it, what they are getting out of it and everyone finds a point where if it isn't truly enhancing their life, they need to reassess or step back and do what they TRULY want to do. And balance in life is critical. I kind of reached this point not too long ago and have cut back on "building the blog" and just making it more for me and what I want to write about. It has helped. : )

Octamom said...

Ah, balance--why is it so elusive? Welcome back.

Blessings!

Alicia W. said...

Glad to see you posted. Good to hear everything you had to say from the heart. I couldn't agree more. :o) Well Said Jay!! Well Said.

Cheryl said...

Glad to see you again. I can totally relate to what you're saying.

JennyMac said...

Love the post. Great story.

Annie said...

This is why I went into retirement. Now that I am out, I don't focus on it so much and it works much better!

McClure Family said...

i need to take a break myself! thanks for the insight!

my ww's:

http://www.mcclurefamilyspace.blogspot.com/
http://www.2by2boutique.blogspot.com/

Sweet Annabelle said...

Loved reading this - and loved your comparison of your current life and the fish tank. God bless you as you peer further into the tank...

BenLand said...

love your blog.....but, i totally understand that family comes first....enjoy them......they'll be plenty of time for blogging when they're older and hate their parents....no offense..it's going to happen to all of us)......

Jenni Jiggety said...

Welcome back, Jay!!!!

What is this balance you speak of? It does not compute...

Buckeroomama said...

Beautiful post... and I love the photo at the end of it.

Michelle said...

Jay I think that you will find that most bloggers will stick around even if you don't blog all the time.

I stopped blogging frequently due to being too busy with real life and I find it so much more enjoyable.

Blog for you, blog when you have time......we will drop in and say hi when you do.

April said...

i'm glad you're back. and in balance :-)

Lee said...

Welcome back!
I've missed reading your blog more regularly! At least now my blog list feels like it's more in balance.

kisatrtle said...

So good to hear from you. I love that picture and I look forward to what you have to say in the future

Bee and Rose said...

So happy that you are back!

Finding balance...I took a step back from the land of Blog to find just that...I completely relate to your journey! Living in the moment has helped me tremendously:)

A Buns Life said...

hopefully it will be "right" this time. No pressure, no obligation. Just do it when you want to....when you have time, and when it FEELS right.

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

Good for you Jay. Life balance is such a tricky task. But if anyone can come close to it, you would be one I am putting my money on. Find those points of clarity that allow you to live in the "Now" and release you from the frenetic out of balance nature of most of our lives. God Bless you brother.

jsprik said...

jjjaaayyyyy!!! welcome back!!! i have missed you so!! hope everything is well with you and your family!! sounds like you have been doing some soul searching!! good for you, i think we should all take a step back from our busy lives once in a while and do just that!! come by soon!! :)

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I keep thinking about what started out as a hobby started to become more than a hobby for me, and not in a good way. I have pulled back a bit from blogging and although I miss high stats I sure do like spending more time away from the darn laptop.

Balance is hard, especially if you want to be great at everything.

nicole said...

If it makes you feel better, I think all of us (moms and dads) find our lives constantly needing to be reevaluated and seeking balance. I'm glad you're back, in whatever form works for you.

Lee of MWOB said...

Balance. As a parent, I find it to be the great mystery. How the hell to find it? Hmmmm.....

Great honest post Jay. See you around...

:-)

Mariah said...

Jay. Glad you are back. Love the post. Love. It. I will follow you more now.

Sharlene said...

So glad to have you back. I was on vacation for almost a month and so thrilled to come back and see you on my feed again! Hope you are havign fun with the ladies of blogher and looking forward to hearing about it all through a man's point of view (which is often much closer to my own)

Sarah said...

Took the summer off my own darn self. Good luck with the return; although if the catch up I just did is any indication - you jumped into the pool instead of dipping a toe pal!

posthumous pointer
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded. - Emerson