She's a rapper, on the crapper.

Talking nonsensically is an Olympic event around here, with my 4 yr old and I vying for the top of that podium.

But this morning, as she has sat down for a quick poopoo before heading off to school, our little game reached a whole new level.

She saw me run by the bathroom in my underwear, and shouted "I see your stinky bunners!!"...ironic considering her current activity in the restroom.

Then we heard, "I think I need the air on".

My wife and I had a good giggle at this.

So I walked over to the bathroom to turn on the fan for her, and said with a smile "Miss C, you're weird-o-rama."

And she replied, without hesitation:

"You're Barack Obama."

I couldnt reply...mostly because I hit the floor laughing so hard...

And then she added:

"When I call you Barack Obama, you call me John McCain."

I crawled away to find my wife, who I could hear losing it in the next room, and I heard behind me:

"Hey...I still need the John McCain air on."

She doesn't have a firm grasp of the issues, but I love that she is in the game.

I'm sad.

And disheartened. And worried. Worried about this country, sure, but mostly worried about apathy, ignorance, and immaturity.

How hard is it to support your candidate without disrespecting the other?

We have weeks to go, and life in this country is challenging right now. Do we have to belittle each other over our beliefs?

Two separate people tonight I saw insulting the opposing candidate on Twitter and Facebook... not with facts, and certainly with no real understanding of the issues...they simply were saying ugly things about people who have dedicated their lives to serve our country in one capacity or another.

I don't care what you believe. Pro this, against that, I could care less. They are your beliefs, and you are entitled to them. But to feel good about your candidate, is it absolutely necessary to insult mine?

Maybe the best thing we can do right now, as Americans, is show the world we can run our "model democracy" with some level of maturity.

Good luck to your candidate. And good luck to mine.

Ok, I am seriously pissed.

Last year I got pulled over for speeding. In an effort to return some sanity to the house one afternoon, I had taken my daughter for a brief outing, and was pulled over on a side street I never used for going 40 in a 30. I begged and pleaded with the officer, tried to describe the situation at home that day, told him what happens to people in my profession if they get speeding tickets, preyed on his sense of fatherhood and humanity.

He returned to my car with my ticket. $200 bucks, pal. Next time slow down.

This morning, my wife left for work in a hurry, in the dark, the same way she has for 10 years. As she blasted down the street doing 54 in a 40 trying to figure out how to defog her windshield, she was pulled over by the city’s finest. When asked if she knew how fast she was going, she replied, “No, I was too busy trying to unfog my windshield.”

And then it happened.

“Well, that’s ok ma’am, because I don’t give tickets to nurses.”

Now. Am I pissed because we just saved $200 and a trip to court to seek out deferred adjudication…AGAIN? No.

Am I pissed because she gets away with it and I cant? Maybe.

Am I pissed because Johnny Law gets to use his badge to flirt with my wife? ABSOLUTELY. I know it’s gonna sound pathetic, but I would have RATHER she got the ticket, and feel like the guy had done his job properly.

And finally, the person I am most pissed at is…me. Last year I voted to pay for more police in our city. So essentially, I handed that guy a twenty, and asked him to hit on my wife.

I want my vote back.